The math of dating in Hollywood.
In response to my So, you like superheroes, eh? post on Wednesday, Anonymous said...
Gil,
Dig the website. Nice commentary, good judge of topics. I feel I agree with most of your opinions, but did you have to go there with Superman? Or my fave, Batman...c'mon man, let me have a lil' fun in thinking that there is some good looking, mask wearing, vigilante, who just wants to make his dumpy city a little bit better. I live in a popular somewhat gay city...do you have to ruin my superheroes to?*
*This is no way shape or form meant to offend gay/lesbian people...I love you all, but from a straight white girl's perspective...there's not too many straight men in H'wood.Blog on my friend.
Let me start by thanking you for the kind words. Also, I'm quite amused by the use of the disclaimer but I sincerely doubt we have to worry about some hoard of... ahem... closet gay/lesbian blog readers who are going to be offended by any of this. If there are, it's my guess they'll get over it.
Now, before I continue this post, here's my own disclaimer:
This following is in no way shape or form meant to offend straight white girls... I love you all but from a straight white guy's perspective... you really know how to tighten my jaws sometimes.
Got that? Good. Now let's proceed.
Question. How many other single straight guys are as absolutely sick and tired as I am of hearing women complain about there being "too many gay guys" out there? How are we supposed to feel about this? Think about it. Let's say that 3-5% of the overall population is gay and then assume it's 2 or 3 or even 5 times higher than that in Hollywood. This would still mean that about 75% of the men in Hollywood are straight. Therefore, even if half of those guys are already in relationships, we're still talking about 30-40% of all the men in Hollywood who are single and straight but who women consider to be such losers they'll never be able to compete with any of those dreamy gay dudes.
All right, I'll go ahead and concede that there are indeed quite a few losers out there. But this still leaves a sizable contingent of guys who may not lead double lives fighting the Riddlers and Penguins of the world, but who make an attempt to do the little things that can help make dumpy cities a little less dumpy (like writing clever blogs to brighten your day for instance). By the way, if someone's wearing a mask, how the hell do you know how good looking he is anyway?
Here's another Hollywood dating statistic, taken from my own research...
About 80-90% of the women in Hollywood who are not lesbians will only consider a relationship with you if: 1) You can help them get ahead in their career, or 2) They can show you off at parties (generally, this means you vaguely resemble whomever the current Hollywood glamour boy might be). If you somehow satisfy both of these requirements, you are considered to be the perfect man.
It doesn't really bother me that women are this shallow. They'll never be able to compete with men when it comes to that skill. What bugs me is that they're not capable of being honest about it. For once, instead of listening to a woman talk about how she would just like to meet a decent, intelligent guy, with a great sense of humor, blah, blah, blah... I think it would be refreshing to hear, "I'd just like to meet a guy who can get me a speaking part on My Name is Earl." Or instead of complaining about the glut of gay men in Hollywood, she could say, "There just aren't any straight guys out there who look enough like Jake Gyllenhaal to make my friends jealous." This kind of honesty, while harsh, would be greatly appreciated because it'll help spare me the trauma of suggesting the possibility of a date or some sort of other more intimate encounter to a fetching young lady only to have her look at me as if I not only insulted her, her mother, and her father but her entire ancestral lineage as well. *
*The remaining 10-20% of women who don't fall into the above group choose their boyfriends for reasons that are so entirely irrational, an infinite number of MIT grad students could work for an infinite number of years trying to explain it with an infinite number of algorithms and still never figure it out.
So Anonymous, thanks for getting me all riled up and supplying me with a topic for the blog. For the record, I don't see anything wrong with women being into superheroes. But, any guy past of the age of... oh, let's say 12... who is really into that stuff. Well, I think it's a little suspect.
Gil,
Dig the website. Nice commentary, good judge of topics. I feel I agree with most of your opinions, but did you have to go there with Superman? Or my fave, Batman...c'mon man, let me have a lil' fun in thinking that there is some good looking, mask wearing, vigilante, who just wants to make his dumpy city a little bit better. I live in a popular somewhat gay city...do you have to ruin my superheroes to?*
*This is no way shape or form meant to offend gay/lesbian people...I love you all, but from a straight white girl's perspective...there's not too many straight men in H'wood.Blog on my friend.
Let me start by thanking you for the kind words. Also, I'm quite amused by the use of the disclaimer but I sincerely doubt we have to worry about some hoard of... ahem... closet gay/lesbian blog readers who are going to be offended by any of this. If there are, it's my guess they'll get over it.
Now, before I continue this post, here's my own disclaimer:
This following is in no way shape or form meant to offend straight white girls... I love you all but from a straight white guy's perspective... you really know how to tighten my jaws sometimes.
Got that? Good. Now let's proceed.
Question. How many other single straight guys are as absolutely sick and tired as I am of hearing women complain about there being "too many gay guys" out there? How are we supposed to feel about this? Think about it. Let's say that 3-5% of the overall population is gay and then assume it's 2 or 3 or even 5 times higher than that in Hollywood. This would still mean that about 75% of the men in Hollywood are straight. Therefore, even if half of those guys are already in relationships, we're still talking about 30-40% of all the men in Hollywood who are single and straight but who women consider to be such losers they'll never be able to compete with any of those dreamy gay dudes.
All right, I'll go ahead and concede that there are indeed quite a few losers out there. But this still leaves a sizable contingent of guys who may not lead double lives fighting the Riddlers and Penguins of the world, but who make an attempt to do the little things that can help make dumpy cities a little less dumpy (like writing clever blogs to brighten your day for instance). By the way, if someone's wearing a mask, how the hell do you know how good looking he is anyway?
Here's another Hollywood dating statistic, taken from my own research...
About 80-90% of the women in Hollywood who are not lesbians will only consider a relationship with you if: 1) You can help them get ahead in their career, or 2) They can show you off at parties (generally, this means you vaguely resemble whomever the current Hollywood glamour boy might be). If you somehow satisfy both of these requirements, you are considered to be the perfect man.
It doesn't really bother me that women are this shallow. They'll never be able to compete with men when it comes to that skill. What bugs me is that they're not capable of being honest about it. For once, instead of listening to a woman talk about how she would just like to meet a decent, intelligent guy, with a great sense of humor, blah, blah, blah... I think it would be refreshing to hear, "I'd just like to meet a guy who can get me a speaking part on My Name is Earl." Or instead of complaining about the glut of gay men in Hollywood, she could say, "There just aren't any straight guys out there who look enough like Jake Gyllenhaal to make my friends jealous." This kind of honesty, while harsh, would be greatly appreciated because it'll help spare me the trauma of suggesting the possibility of a date or some sort of other more intimate encounter to a fetching young lady only to have her look at me as if I not only insulted her, her mother, and her father but her entire ancestral lineage as well. *
*The remaining 10-20% of women who don't fall into the above group choose their boyfriends for reasons that are so entirely irrational, an infinite number of MIT grad students could work for an infinite number of years trying to explain it with an infinite number of algorithms and still never figure it out.
So Anonymous, thanks for getting me all riled up and supplying me with a topic for the blog. For the record, I don't see anything wrong with women being into superheroes. But, any guy past of the age of... oh, let's say 12... who is really into that stuff. Well, I think it's a little suspect.
posted by Gil at 9:43 AM
3 Comments:
Gil, Gil, Gil,
This latest blog has got me in somewhat of a fit myself. I laugh at the probable, but real percentages that you have computed. But to say that EVERY woman in H'wood is like your description...is ludicrous. Okay, okay, I admit there are quite a number of mean, nasty, and fame grubbing whores out there, but please don't lump us all into one big steaming pile of BITCH.
No, were not all Paris Hilton types or the...well, Paris Hilton type. Some of us are just nice girls looking for some nice guys who appreciate all we do for them and treat us like their favorite dessert at the end of the meal...cherished...or relished...something to that affect. Most women that I talk to or listen to on TV, radio,and whatnot often comment that a sense of humor is most important in the attractiveness of a guy, not rock hard abs, not chiseled cheekbones, not buns that could crack a nutshell, but good ol' humor. Of course, being easy on the eyes is not a problem. What's the problem then? The problem is men who are DICKS-men who aren't honest with the women they are trying to bed...in all honestness, or guys that are so caught up in their own world making them blind to anyone but themselves.
So, Frnknsalsa what do we do about the problem? Try to find good partners in bars? Wrong! Try to find our match with a dating service? Wrong! I'll tell you one way we could fix the problem- open mike comedy night dating...What the hell? you may say. Think about it, if what women find attractive in a men is a sense of humor, and a man wants to find a woman that'll be honest with him, put that man/woman onstage and tell'em to let loose with all the shit in their lives...you may just find that someone out there shares the same shitty experiences. Thus, enabling both of you to experience the rest of your shitty lives together...hopefully laughing.
Just remember a smile and a giggle is the best disease you could give a person, it's contagious and will make you memorable.
And that's all I have to say about that!
Hey Gil,
I know that the world beats us all down sometimes. That said, I would really take it easy on us women. When I met my wonderful husband of seven years, I was hardly grubbing for a career from him (he's a teacher). Nor did I give a crap whether he resembled some celebrity. I actually was just thrilled to meet someone with whom I had so much in common (except for that he was kinder, gentler, better with money, wiser, funnier, and could translate ancient Greek). I guess I could understand why a woman would gravitate towards pretty boys or towards "career-enhancers" if the real thing hadn't come along yet. But when everyone has their guard up and is so cynical, what are the odds that they'll know it or even recognize it when it comes along? This may sound like starry-eyed clap-trap to you, but it's common sense that you will find what you are looking for out there. If you expect to find vapid gold-diggers, by all means, keep approaching 23-year old actress types who are hanging out in hot-spots and bars waiting to be discovered. If you expect to find someone cool who is more mature than that, I'd suggest looking other places, like volunteer organizations or libraries. And don't blame those of us women who lucked out and found a good relationship by saying that our reasons are unfathomable. Love is unfathomable, but relationships take work, for anyone, man or woman.
Annie
Bah and humbug, and dare I say phooey?
I agree about 97.3% with Frnknsalsa. Women cannot admit to themselves that they are attracted by material things and physical attributes. In the history of the world, no woman has ever answered something other than "a good sense of humor" in what they are looking for in a man.
I submit to you that comedy clubs are not crawling with single women vying for the attention of the talented, yet-to-be-discovered comedians. David Spade had no problem getting women as soon as he got money. Fascinating. Not that I am holding him up as a paragon of on-stage humor, but Dennis Miller once said that off stage, Spade was "the funniest cat in the business."
Now, as for Frnknsalsa, I offer the Tao of Steve for consideration.
I realize its bad form to link back to my blog from yours in a comment, let alone doing so twice, but the topic demands it!
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