Frnknsalsa

Obama's choice is not to choose on Iran - Los Angeles Times

2009-06-16T01:37:00.001-07:00

Obama's choice is not to choose on Iran - Los Angeles Times

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President Obama

2008-11-04T20:05:00.000-08:00

Just for the record... I think you people are nuts... but I really, really am hoping I'm wrong.

And it just gets worse and worse.

2008-06-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

Speaking of not being serious, how about that Supreme Court decision this week? Okay, I understand that the Guantanamo solution to detaining enemy combatants has been less than perfect but it was on the way out anyway. Both Senators McCain and Obama are in favor of closing the detention facility and the military has been shipping prisoners out from there already. Some of the released prisoners have already returned to the battlefield. Basically, 5 justices on the Supreme Court have declared these these guys to have the same constitutional rights as citizens of the United States, even though they are alien nationals captured on foreign battlefields.

Associate Justice Antonin Scalia (who may be my favorite living American) sums it up brilliantly in his scathing dissent.

America is at war with radical Islamists. The enemy began by killing Americans and American allies abroad: 241 at the Marine barracks in Lebanon, 19 at the Khobar Towers in Dhahran, 224 at our embassies in Dar es Salaam and Nairobi, and 17 on the USS Cole in Yemen. See National Commission on Terrorist Attacks upon the United States, The 9/11 Commission Report, pp. 60–61, 70, 190 (2004). On September 11, 2001, the enemy brought the battle to American soil, killing 2,749 at the Twin Towers in New York City, 184 at the Pentagon in Washington, D. C., and 40 in Pennsylvania. See id., at 552, n. 9. It has threatened further attacks against our homeland; one need only walk about buttressed and barricaded Washington, or board a plane anywhere in the country, to know that the threat is a serious one. Our Armed Forces are now in the field against the enemy, in Afghanistan and Iraq. Last week, 13 of our countrymen in arms were killed.

The game of bait-and-switch that today’s opinion plays upon the Nation’s Commander in Chief will make the war harder on us. It will almost certainly cause more Americans to be killed.

Also, as the Wall Street Journal points out on yesterday's editorial page, by creating a new right for non-citizens in foreign lands, the Supreme Court has now gotten in the business of making decisions on how to wage war, a responsibility specifically given by the constitution to the President and Congress.

The WSJ ends it's opinion column by recalling a famous quote by former supreme court justice Robert Jackson that the Constitution is "not a suicide pact."

All this is making me quite depressed.

Exactly!!!

2008-06-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

Pardon me if most of my blogs these days are mostly reposting of opinion pieces or news articles I find on the web. It's not because I don't have my own thoughts on the pressing matters of the day, it's just that why re-write what someone else has already researched and written that sums up my own point of view or has helped focus it.

In case none of you have noticed, gasoline prices have gone up a bit recently. Oh, you say you have noticed? Well, so have I and I am getting super pissed. But not at the big bad greedy oil companies. I'm absolutely furious at the idiots in Congress who or in any position to set public policy that make it nearly impossible to build new refineries, nuclear power plants, or exploit the vast reserves of energy resources this country possesses.

There is so much to say on this topic but let's start with Daniel Henninger's column on OpinionJournal.com yesterday. I especially love the line at the end where he talks about this being the year we "tired" of being a serious country. Fits right in with my civilizational fatigue comments earlier this week, eh

June 12, 2008

Sitting on an Ocean of Energy, Doing Nothing

By Daniel Henninger

Charles de Gaulle once wrote off the nation of Brazil in six words: "Brazil is not a serious country." How much time is left before someone says the same of the United States?

One thing Brazil and the U.S. have in common is the price of oil: It is priced in dollars, and everyone in the world now knows what the price is. Another commonality is that each country has vast oil reserves in waters off their coastlines.

Here we may draw a line in the waves between the serious and the unserious.

Brazil discovered only yesterday (November) that billions of barrels of oil sit in difficult water beneath a swath of the Santos Basin, 180 miles offshore from Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo. The U.S. has known for decades that at least 8.5 billion proven barrels of oil sit off its Pacific, Atlantic and Gulf coasts, with the Interior Department estimating 86 billion barrels of undiscovered oil resources.

When Brazil made this find last November, did its legislature announce that, for fear of oil spills hitting Rio's beaches or altering the climate, it would forgo exploiting these fields?

Of course it didn't. Guilherme Estrella, director of exploration and production for the Brazilian oil company Petrobras, said, "It's an extraordinary position for Brazil to be in." Indeed it is.

At this point in time, is there another country on the face of the earth that would possess the oil and gas reserves held by the United States and refuse to exploit them? Only technical incompetence, as in Mexico, would hold anyone back.

But not us. We won't drill.

California won't drill for the estimated 1.3 billion barrels of recoverable oil off its coast because of bad memories of the Santa Barbara oil spill - in 1969.

We won't drill for the estimated 5.6 billion to 16 billion barrels of oil in the moonscape known as the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) because of - the caribou.

In 1990, George H.W. Bush, calling himself "the environmental president," signed an order putting virtually all the U.S. outer continental shelf's oil and gas reserves in the deep freeze. Bill Clinton extended that lockup until 2013. A Clinton veto also threw away the key to ANWR's oil 13 years ago.

Our waters may hold 60 trillion untapped cubic feet of natural gas. As in Brazil, these are surely conservative estimates.

While Brazilians proudly embrace Petrobras, yelling "We're Going to Be No. 1," the U.S.'s Democratic nominee for president, Barack Obama, promises to impose an "excess profits tax" on American oil producers.

We live in a world in which Russia's Vladimir Putin and Venezuela's Hugo Chávez use their vast oil and gas reserves as instruments of state power. Here, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid use their control of Congress to spend a week debating a "climate-change" bill. This they did fresh off their subsidized (and bipartisan) ethanol fiasco.

One may assume that Mr. Putin and the Chinese have noticed the policy obsessions of our political class. While other nations use their oil reserves to attain world status, we give ours up. Why shouldn't they conclude that, long term, these people can be taken? Nikita Khrushchev said, "We will bury you." Forget that. We'll do it ourselves.

Putin intimidates Ukraine, Georgia, the Baltic states and Poland with oil and gas cutoffs, while Chávez uses petrodollars to bankroll Colombian terrorists. Cuba plans to exploit its Caribbean oil fields within a long tee shot of the Florida Keys with help from India, Spain, Venezuela, Canada, Norway, Malaysia, even Vietnam. But America won't drill. Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson of Florida said just last month he's afraid of an oil spill. Katrina wrecked the oil rigs in the Gulf with no significant damage from leaking oil.

Some portion of the current $4-per-gallon gasoline may be attributable to the Federal Reserve's inflationary monetary policy or even speculators. But we can wave goodbye to the $1.25/gallon gasoline that in 1990 allowed a President Bush to airily lock away the nation's oil and gas jewels. This isn't your father's world of energy. New world powers are coming online fast, and they need energy. We need to get back in the game.

The goal shouldn't be "energy independence," a ridiculous notion in an economically integrated world. It's about admitting the need to strike a balance between the energy and security realities of the here-and-now and the potentialities of the future. Some of our best and brightest want to pursue alternative energy technologies, and they should be encouraged to do so, inside market disciplines. But let's at least stop pretending the rest of the world is going to play along with our environmentalist moralisms.

The Democrats' climate-change bill collapsed last week under the weight of brutal cost realities. It was a wake-up call. This is the year Americans joined the real world of energy costs. Now someone needs to explain to them why we - and we alone - are sitting on an ocean of energy but won't drill for it.

You'd think the "national security" nominee, John McCain, would get this. He's clueless - a don't-drill zombie. We may mark this down as the year the U.S. tired of being a serious country.

Not a good start... or re-start anyway.

2008-06-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

I'm not very happy with yesterday's post. I don't think I did a good job summarizing Weigel's work or expressing my own thoughts very well. I think I'll have to visit the civilization fatigue idea at some later time. Maybe when I've shaken the rust off my blogging skills.

Today I just wanted to share with you Larry Kudlow's June 11 Real Clear Politics article before I've forgotten about it. He just about sums up why you should vote for Senator McCain in November if you're an investor, small-business owner-operator, or one of the vast majority of middle-class Americans who go to work every day.

Here's the key section of Kudlow's piece.

Getting down to specifics, McCain said he will maintain the low income and investment tax rates put in place by President Bush. He singled out the need to keep the capital-gains tax rate at a low 15 percent, so that businesses will have the investment necessary to expand jobs, productivity, and real wages.

Completely unlike Obama, McCain is saying you can't have capitalism without capital. And he recognizes that investors must have high after-tax returns in order to take risks and fuel entrepreneurial activity. On this point, think high-risk energy technologies for clean coal, natural gas, oil shale, and nuclear and cellulosic power.

McCain repeated his plan to reduce the corporate tax rate to 25 percent from 35 percent. This could be his single-most-important tax reform. Not only will it enhance America's global competitiveness, since we have the second highest corporate tax among large countries. But a number of studies show that roughly 70 percent of the benefits from a lower corporate tax will flow to the workforce in the form of higher real wages and more jobs.

McCain also pledged to keep the estate tax low to reward family businesses. Overall, he would seek a flatter and simpler tax system, probably modeled on Rep. Paul Ryan's idea of two rates of 25 and 15 percent. McCain also discussed several middle-class tax cuts, such as doubling the child tax exemption and phasing out the alternative minimum tax. For businesses, McCain added a first-year cash-expensing provision for the write-off of new equipment and technology.

McCain coupled all this with a pledge to veto earmarks and pork-barrel spending. He held out as an example the outrageous $300 billion farm bill that drew Obama's vote. McCain would go after corporate welfare and freeze discretionary spending outside of the military. And he made an especially strong case for the free-trade policies that have been so important to U.S. economic growth.

Click here for the entire article.

Where to begin?

2008-06-10T01:22:00.000-07:00

I started this blog with a lot of things I wanted to say and a lot of ambition to try to say it all. Then, reality set in. I realized this blogging thing is pretty hard work if you want to do it right. It sometimes would take an entire day's worth of free time to turn out a quality post and... I must admit... I can be a pretty lazy guy much of the time.

But this is not the entire reason the quality and quantity of my blogging was radically reduced all those months ago. Here's the other part of the story. Two summers ago I read a book by George Weigel called The Cube and the Cathedral: Europe, America, and Politics Without God. In it, he examines so-called "post-Christian" Europe. How did it get to be post-Christian and what will the ultimate consequences of that continent turning away from the faith that guided its denizens for more than a thousand years. I have had the opinion for years that Europe is a dying civilization if for no other reason that it's committing demographic suicide in that Europeans are not having enough babies and are making up the difference by letting in tens of thousands of immigrants from the Islamic world who are more than happy to procreate at a prodigious rate. Weigel generally reinforces this idea even though he tries also offers an optimistic scenario for how an Islamic Europe can be avoided. I'm not so sure.

Weigel identifies one of Europe's problems as a lack of "civilizational morale". Centuries of devastating wars and other upheavals has basically fatigued the European psyche to a point where an entire continent has lost the will to live... or at least the will to identify itself as a civilization with values worth preserving and not just an amalgam of people who speak a variety of languages united under the bureaucrats of the European Union. Weigel also points out that this is not just isolated to Europe, there are many people in the United States with this sort of European world view though it is not as dominant here. So, while we many not have full-on decline of civilizational morale, I think we definitely have a sort of civilizational fatigue. I believe there is an unspoken national debate going on as to whether we want to be the pre-eminate power in the world any longer. There are a lot of people in this country who don't like that we have the nerve to project our power around the globe and are thrown into fits of self-doubt when someone like Jacques Chirac wags his finger at us. And there are a lot of people who have bought into the idea that our very way of life is something to feel guilty about. That we are selfish, that we consume too much of the world's resources, etc.

I have more to say on these things but I want to get back to how this relates to my lack of blogging. Well, Weigel's book actually crushed my morale and I was quite depressed for a time. I know that might sound like an over-reaction but it's the truth. In fact, I'm still quite bummed about the state of things to this day but maybe blogging again can help me work out of it.

I'll end this post on a positive note. I'm getting married October 4 to a wonderful lady I truly don't deserve. More about that later :-)

Gil

Frnknsalsa endorses...

2008-05-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

Senator John McCain!

Yay!!!

Boo!!!

So, I asked Enterprise for the smallest car available...

2008-05-27T01:18:00.001-07:00

Frnknsalsa must blog!

2008-05-25T22:54:00.000-07:00

I've been itching to blog lately but where to start? I have so much to say.

Hmmmmmm......

Okay, how 'bout just showing what happened to the Mustang while I was sleeping last Monday?

February vacation in Michigan... there's something wrong with me.

2008-02-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

I don't remember the last time I did this.

I worked so hard I broke the shovel.

Blast from the past: Part II

2008-01-24T13:30:00.000-08:00

Here I score a touchdown running my unstoppable 9-8-2-4 Intellivision Football offense to perfection. Circa 1983 in the basement on Oakman. The opponent? Gotta' be Perczak.

Blast from the past.

2008-01-14T07:40:00.000-08:00

My last 200 Individual Medley swim at Fordson High School on Senior Night in 1983. The announcers are Michael Koenig (class of 84) and assistant coach Fred Seitz (class of ?). I f'ed up my backstroke turn as usual.

The Ghoul

2007-09-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday morning. My fantasy football lineups are all set. I'm tired and bored. So why not blog?

Don't know why but I was thinking of someone called The Ghoul yesterday. Actually his real name is Ron Sweed and he was the late night horror movie host in the Detroit area and Northern Ohio in 1970's and I was a devoted fan. I saw him once at a live appearance at a frozen custard place called King Kone in Garden City or Westland or one of those places. I remember he was blowing up little sample frozen custard cups with fire crackers.

Thought I'd look on line and see if there was any video available and was pleasantly surprised.

Why are there no longer any late night horror movie hosts???

This Michael Bay wank fest... is actually quite good.

2007-07-16T22:39:00.000-07:00

Seems I made some harsh off-handed (but still well-deserved) comments about director Michael Bay in an earlier post. Well, I saw his latest film, Transfomers, this afternoon and really got a kick out of it. Great action, likable characters, good casting, just the right amount of comic relief (lots), and very few embarrassing "Michael Bay" moments (if you're not sure what I'm referring to, review the Ben Affleck/Liv Tyler Chevy truck commercial.. er, I mean love scene that somehow ended up in the middle of Armageddon). And, as if it this all weren't enough, there's also Megan Fox. A lovely young woman who'll make some lucky guy a great imaginary girlfriend someday.

And speaking of commercials, this film is the best advertisement for American muscle cars in years. How can you see this movie and not want to own a new Mustang or Camero?

The Latin Mass

2007-07-10T18:48:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, Pope Benedict XVI made headlines when he issued an Apostolic Letter that basically allows the return of the old "Latin Mass," the liturgy used before the reforms of the 2nd Vatican Council (1962-1965).

Having been born after Vatican II, I've never participated in this form of the Mass and look forward to attending such a celebration.

Here is a video of the tradional Latin Catholic Mass celebrated on Easter Sunday, 1941, narrated by the great Fulton J. Sheen.

How fanatics think.

2007-07-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

If you have any questions about who and what we are fighting in the oft-denigrated "War on terror," read this article by a former Jihadi. It's scary, but I find it encouraging that there are muslims who are beginning to seriously come to terms with the madness that has taken root in their faith.

Live Free Or Die Hard... See this movie!

2007-07-02T03:01:00.000-07:00

Just saw Bruce Willis in Live Free or Die Hard and unlike that crappy Michael Bay wank fest this movie really does rock. It is easily the best 80's action movie since the 80's. We need more movies like this and less movies that suck. I can't wait for the new Rambo flick now.

Also, after seeing this film, I now have a new imaginary girl friend, Maggie Q. She's a model who's apparently been in some other movies... but they all sucked.

Speaking of movies that suck, Titanic was just on TBS again. I think the freakin' plot and dialogue struck an iceberg in the first 5 minutes, then backed up and proceeded to hit it over and over again... just like when my friend Vince smashed into my neighbor Malek's car after a GoGo's concert in 1982.

Albums I've been listening to lately.

2007-06-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

Al Green - Definitive Greatest Hits
White Stripes - Icky Thump
Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out Of This Country
The Wedding Present - Take Fountain
Clem Snide - The End Of Love
Dinosaur Jr. - Beyond
The Ladybug Transistor - The Ladybug Transistor
LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver
Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
Regina Spektor - Begin To Hope
Robert Pollard - Normal Happiness
TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

Casinospeak

2007-06-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I mentioned some terms commonly associated with the ancient Chinese game of Paigow tiles. Here are some other glossary definitions of words listed in the back of my company's training manual.

Ay-yah - Exclamation meaning "Oh no!"
Brother - A male, younger than your grandfather.
Chasing the Money - Playing to get back gambling losses.
Cold - No good, "the bank is cold."
Daisu - A small amount of money placed on the top of the bank.
English Only - Standard rule in casinos during play of hand, only English to be spoken at table. Enforced about as well as our nation's current immigration laws.
Hak Chai - Bad luck (Chinese). Now, also Frnknsalsa's nickname.
Ka-ka Dealer - A dealer who is dealing bad hands to the players and/or bank.
King Kong - Face card or picture, more specifically a King.
Kum-kum - Banking or betting partnership between one or more players.
Mama - Woman at least as old enough to be your grandmother.
Michael Jackson - Face card.
Monster - An awesome hand, usually on Pai-gow poker.
No Money, No Honey - The notion that if you don't have money you'll have no luck with women, common phrase and current leading contender for the title of Frnknsalsa's autobiography.
Shoeshiner - One who lingers around tables and begs for chips.

One that's not in here but should be is "Bin Laden", which is what one player always used to shout while playing Blackjack when he wanted the dealer hand to bust or "blow up."

"Give 'em the Bin Laden!"

1 Day. 2 Milestones.

2007-06-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

Two kind of interesting (well, sort of) things happened to me yesterday. First I had my innaugural Pai Gow tiles bank at work. This means I can now go around saying things like gong wong, gee jun, and Hong Kong bank like I'm an expert.

Second, I was chosen to serve on the pastoral council at my parish. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's probably the biggest honor I've had since receiving the %110 percent award on my Lowrey Jr. High swim team. We're supposed to be sort of like the tribal elders, getting together and envisioning how we would like our faith community to evolve in the coming years.

Still... I don't know... I guess I generally don't feel like a very holy person. I would like to be but I have a very hard time focusing on keeping Jesus a part of my life. Maybe this is the Lord's way of getting me back on board. Anyway, I made a 3 year commitment and I intend to be the best council member I can be.

I'm sure the Cherokees and Zulus and others every now and then had guys on their tribal councils who were kind of goofballs.

I'm bored.

2007-06-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

It's 4:39 AM, I can't sleep, and I'm tired of playing CIV IV. So I thought I'd blog.

My favorite barbecue joints in Los Angeles.

Zeke's Smokehouse - Went there today and had the beef ribs with slaw (standard fare) and green beans... I love green beans.

The Pig - Comparable to Zeke's. There best deal is a BBQ 'happy hour" that gets you 2 sandwiches for the price of one. Good barbecue beans and cajun cole slaw.

Phillip's - You have to drive to the hood and stand in line forever but this place rocks. The side orders are nothing special but all the meat is perfect. Some prefer Woody's (Phillip's brother) but my friend Vernie and I suspect he's had to start watering down his sauce to pay for his blackjack losses.

Texas BBQ King - no frills barbecue cooked over Kingsford charcoal. The sampler platter gets you baby back ribs, spare ribs, brisket, 2 kinds of hot links, a quarter chicken, 2 sided orders, and corn bread for only $15!! The smokers are outside next to the order window, so you end up smelling like you just walked through a forest fire.

Mr. Cecil's California Ribs - Good, but you have to drive to the West Side. People who live in Silverlake do not like to drive to the West Side. In fact, we don't like to drive west of Vermont but most of us can be coaxed into going as far as La Cienega.

Dr. Hogly Wogly’s Tyler Texas Barbecue - Fantastic food. Unbelievable portions. If you ask for a to go bag, they just dump all the ribs in a big plastic bag and pour sauce all over it. But it's in Van Nuys. Van Nuys is not even included on most maps sold in Silverlake. I used to see Wilt Chamberlain there on occasion. He's dead now. I'm not saying there is a connection, but...

Cult of indiscriminateness.

2007-03-31T17:39:00.000-07:00

A wonderful phrase I wish I would have invented. It's the theme of this Evan Sayet talk at the Heritage Foundation titled "How Modern Liberals Think" and it's a pretty good summation of my own observations.

It's almost 48 minutes long but it's packed with insight.

A world without America?

2007-02-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

Sponsored by the British political video website 18DoughtyStreet. There really are some people in Europe who understand that America is the best friend they've ever had.

I don't need a freakin' study to tell me this.

2007-02-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

Sexed-up images in media hurt young girls: study

Tue Feb 20, 8:57 AM ET

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Inescapable media images of sexed-up girls and women posing as adolescents can cause psychological and even physical harm to adolescents and young women, a study in the US has warned.

The pressure of what experts call "sexualization" can lead to depression, eating disorders, and poor academic performance, said the report, released Sunday by the American Psychological Association.

"Sexualization of girls is a broad and increasing problem and is harmful to girls," it concluded.
Adult women dressed as school girls in music videos, bikini-clad dolls in hot tubs, and sexually-charged advertisements featuring teenagers were among the many examples cited.

Such omnipresent images -- on television and the Internet, in movies and magazines -- can also have a negative effect on a young girl's sexual development, the study cautioned.

Based on a comprehensive review of academic literature, the 66-page report noted that young adolescents and girls were particularly at risk "because their sense of self is still being formed."

School performance can also suffer. In one experiment cited, college-aged women were asked to try on and evaluate either a swim suit or a sweater. While they waited for 10 minutes while wearing the garment, they completed a math test.

"The results revealed that young women in swimsuits performed significantly worse ... than those wearing sweaters. No difference were found for young men."

The study, which includes numerous recommendations for concerned parents, coincides with a growing wave of public concern about the impact of highly sexed imagery.

The fashion world has been in turmoil since public authorities in Madrid banned under-weight and under-age models from catwalks last year.

The Italian government and two top fashion associations followed suit, signing a code of ethics in December after top Brazilian model Ana Carolina Reston died of heart failure weighing only 40 kilos (88 pounds).

In France, Health Minister Xavier Bertrand, concerned about the rise of eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, recently asked a panel of experts to create a similar voluntary code for advertisers and clothing designers on how the female body should be portrayed.

Sunday's study said sexualization occurs when "a person's value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior," when sexuality is inappropriately imposed, or when a person is sexually "objectified."

Looking at popular music videos, the authors quoted songs by the Pussycat Dolls, Kid Rock, and 50 Cent, emphasizing lyrics that they suggested sexually objectified women.

The report said that "sexualization of women is particularly prominent in advertising," and singled out beer commercials as a major offender.

Also cited was a Skechers shoe ad that features pop singer Christina Aguilera dressed as a school girl in pigtails, with her shirt unbuttoned while licking a lollipop.

The popular Bratz dolls, the study noted, depict "girls marketed in bikinis, sitting in a hot tub, mixing drinks, and standing around, while the 'Boyz' play guitar and stand with their surf boards," it said. The dolls come dressed in miniskirts, fishnet stockings, and feather boas.

The report called on parents to take a more active roll in helping to shape the sexual self-image of their children, and to exert consumer pressure on manufacturers and advertisers.

In the United States, the sexualization of young girls became an issue of public debate after the 1999 murder of JonBenet Ramsey, a six-year old beauty pageant contestant who put on makeup and adult clothes.

A weekend to remember.

2007-02-20T00:20:00.000-08:00

Spent the weekend on a retreat with my confirmation class at St. Andrew's Abbey in Valyermo, CA. I'd never been on a retreat before so I wasn't sure what to expect and therefore can't say it surpassed my expectations but I can truly say it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

One of the group leaders (there were 22 students and 11 group leaders), Emily, gave a talk on the lives of the saints and pointed out that while many of them lived lives of great hardships, they did so with great joy because they were serving the Lord. I thought this was a great insight and realized that if I had to sum up the weekend in one word, that's the word I would use... joy.

If you're wondering exactly what people do on a retreat, here is our schedule. I'm still exhausted.

ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI CONFIRMATION RETREAT
Theme: “God Has Chosen Me”
February 16 – 18, 2007
St. Andrew’s Abbey

Friday, February 16
5:00 Leave St. Francis of Assisi Church
7:00 Arrival / Registration (Name Tags) / Snacks
7:30 Opening Prayer / Welcome / Introductions / Rules /
Introduce Retreat Theme & Theme Song
8:30 Monk’s Welcome and Monastic Talk
8:45 Ice Breaker – People to People leading to Introductions by pairs
9:00 Break up into families
9:05 Skit 1 – Anxiety and Excitement of Retreat
9:20 Talk 1 – Who Am I – (Jorge)
9:40 Activity – Paper Bag Decorations (front only)–magazine cutouts
Things that describe who you are / Put Name on Bag
10:00 Share bag decorations with family
10:20 Break – Hot Chocolate
10:35 Praise & Worship () will encourage participation
10:50 Talk 2 – Others – (Gabe)
11:10 Activity – Paper Bag Decorations (back only)-Important people in your life
11:30 Share the important people with family
11:50 Evening Announcements (encourage night showers)
12:00 Lights Out

Saturday, February 17
7:30 Wake Up
8:30 Breakfast – Meal Prayer by a family includes set up & clean up
9:00 Praise & Worship
9:15 Activity – Create Family Name & Poster
9:35 Share posters with whole group / Pin up poster on wall
10:00 Ice Breaker - Queen
10:15 Skit 2 – Jesus Is Coming To Dinner
10:30 Talk 3 – Jesus Christ – (Luis)
10:50 Activity – Letters to Jesus (to be offered up at bonfire later)
11:20 Break if needed
11:30 Talk 4 – Prayer and Scripture – (Jake)
11:50 Activity – Use clay to create your own symbol of prayer
12:30 Lunch – Meal Prayer by a family includes set up & clean up
1:00 Free Time – nap, sports, tour (weather permitting)
2:30 Ice Breaker – Human Knot
2:40 Praise & Worship

2:50 Talk 5 – Church – (Mylene)
3:10 Activity – Each family shares best memories of church. What is church for you? Past, Present, Future
3:30 Praise & Worship
3:40 Talk 6 – Sacraments – (Gil)
4:00 Activity – 7 groups mime a sacrament and the rest try to guess what it is.
4:20 Break
4:30 Skit 3 – Purity: t-shirt staining with sin, thru confession gets new clean, white t-shirt
4:45 Talk 7 – Chastity, Our Body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit – ()
Invitation to sign Chastity Card
5:05 Activity – Group Discussion where they can place anonymous questions into a basket, which will be answered.
Signing of Chastity Cards.
5:30 Dinner – Meal Prayer by a family includes set up & clean up
6:10 Praise & Worship – Practice Mass songs
6:25 Gospel Reflection
6:45 Reflection Song – Mylene & Laura
6:50 Activity – Writing letters to forgive others or be forgiven – offered at mass
7:20 Break
7:45 Explanation of Mortal & Venial Sin
Briefly Review Sacrament of Reconciliation – (Pat)
8:00 Examination of Conscience (go thru each commandment with reflection questions) – (Pat)
8:30 Reconciliation Service – go by family, receive white heart when done
10:00 Mass – Fr. Daniel
11:00 Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament with meditation and music
11:30 Introduction to Praying Over Others
11:45 Evening Announcements / Burn Jesus letters and forgiving letters
12:00 Gather to share experiences of the day & pray over each other.

Sunday, February 18
7:00 Wake Up, Pack Bags, Clean Up Dorms and Talk Room
8:30 Breakfast – Meal Prayer by a family includes set up & clean up
9:00 Praise & Worship
9:10 Talk 8 – Unconditional Love – (Pat)
9:30 Activity – Receive family letters
9:50 Break
10:00 Passion Video
10:05 Stations of the Cross – outside, need handouts, between stations sing “Jesus Remember Me”
10:45 Talk 9 – Saints as Role Models – (Emily)
11:05 Activity – Saint in the Making – family discussion, 3 questions

11:20 Talk 10 – Our Mission (Social Justice) – (Mike)
11:40 Activity - make commitment chain with construction paper slips written out by each family member stating how they will make a difference.
12:00 Lunch – Meal Prayer by a family includes set up & clean up
12:30 Praise & Worship
12:40 Talk 11 – Perseverance, Living Faith In Adversity, Gifts of the Holy Spirit – (Jennifer)
1:00 Activity – Hand out rocks (with a gift of the Holy Spirit written on each) to each family member. Share examples of how you can use that gift.
1:20 Family Pictures/Group Picture
1:40 Sending Forth Activity
1:55 Gather luggage
2:05 Board bus
2:30 Leave St. Andrew’s Abbey
3:30 Arrive at St. Francis of Assisi

I'm moving to The Czech Republic... or Australia

2007-02-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

Not really, but I got a kick out of these two storys...

Václav Klaus about the IPCC panel

Australian Leader: Al-Qaida Wants Obama

Clinton promises to end war if elected... and people are still going to vote for her.

2007-02-03T00:49:00.000-08:00

Hillary says she will end the war in Iraq if elected in 2008 and that she never would have attacked said country in the first place.

Does she have no sense of honor? Didn't she vote for the Senate resolution that gave President Bush the autority to invade Iraq in 2003? Did she do so then because she thought it the politcally expedient thing to do and if so, is that the rational for her rhetoric now? Does she really think the war in Iraq would be over if every single American soldier came home tomorrow?

I have so many questions but more than anything else I really want to understand why there are so many Americans who seem determined to lose a war. Maybe there's someone out there who can explain it to me.

What's your total cholesterol?

2007-02-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

Last week, I went to the doctor for the first time since Ronald Reagan was president. Found out my total cholesterol is 310. I'm wondering if anyone out there has me beat.

Happy New Year.

2007-01-02T12:34:00.000-08:00

Yes, Frnknsalsa is still alive. Hope you all had great holidays. Mine were a bit weird. Got into an argument about global warming at a Christmas Eve party. Saw the new David Lynch movie on Christmas. Welcomed in the New Year at a friend of a friend's party where the big controversy was whether or not this year's Schmooz-a-Palooza was a great time or did in fact suck. Yesterday, I tried to watch as much football as possible on almost no sleep. Made it through most of the crappy Rose Bowl before I finally passed out and missed one of the great college football games of all time.

By the way, I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog to "Lloyd Carr is big fat idiot."

Rest in peace, Coach.

2006-11-17T09:35:00.000-08:00

Eduardo commented earlier this week that the Democrats' victory in the recent elections may have been part of a plot to get me to blog more.

Those bastards! Will there ever be an end to their dastardly deeds?

Actually, I think I could be a much more prolific blogger if I decided to stay away from the political stuff for awhile. I should concentrate on subjects we can all find common ground on... like how much Ohio State sucks.

In case some of you aren't aware of what's going to happen in Columbus, Ohio tomorrow...

Oh God... just checked out ESPN and they're reporting Bo Schembechler died today at the age of 77.

Rest in peace, Coach.

I was going to paste a bunch of Ohio State jokes someone emailed to me today but I'm just too depressed now. I think I'm going to cry.

"Old school" is a term thrown around kind of loosely these days but Bo really was that and much, much more. The kind of coach and public figure that just doesn't seem to come along any more.

Wow, does this put more drama into the game tomorrow or what?

I'm not very smart.

2006-11-10T12:06:00.000-08:00

I honestly thought there was no way you could be a majority political party in America without having any discernable vision or agenda and your only consistent tactic being to complain about everything. Boy was I wrong. Way to go Dems.

Coup Detroit

2006-10-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law John's band, Coup Detroit just released a new CD. You can check out some of the tracks on their MySpace page. Kind of has a Heart meets Primus feel to me. John is the drummer by the way.

The Great MP3 Project

2006-10-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how long it's been since my last post. Perhaps in the days ahead I'll get into what's been behind this lengthy absence but today, I'm here to celebrate the completion of what I've come to refer to as the great MP3 project. I think I may have mentioned before that I have close to 14,000 MP3 music files. I use Itunes to manage this collection mostly because it's the only program that will sync with my IPod. No problem. It's a good program and does just about everything I need it to do.

A while back, I bought a year's subscription to Yahoo! Music Unlimited, a really great service that offers unlimited on-demand streaming audio for a reasonable flat rate. It utilizes an application called Yahoo! Music Jukebox which works fine for the streaming music but doesn't seem to be a great way to manage your MP3s. It's slower than ITunes and won't sync with an IPod. It also, if you give it a chance, will rewrite the tagging info on all your MP3 files, so that much of it is unreadable to ITunes. It basically wiped out all the track numbers on a huge portion of my catalog.

Since my obsessive-compulsive nature couldn't deal with this, I started the process of re-entering all this info manually. Now, several months and I'm not sure how many hours later, the task is finished. Not only do all my files once again have track numbers, they all have album art attached as well and now all happily reside on my new 80GB IPod.

I don't remember the last time I had this feeling of accomplishment.

To blog or not to blog.

2006-07-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that after several weeks of prolific blogging, there has been nothing new from Frnknsalsa. I have no explanation for this except that every once in a while I wake up and find the idea of trying to formulate even a semi-coherent thought utterly exhausting. I wonder why this is.

Why does Hollywood suck so much?

2006-06-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

From today's Hollywood Reporter. It sort of tightened my jaws.

June 30, 2006

Superman eschews longtime patriot act

By Tatiana Siegel

Nevermind Superman's sexual orientation. Here's another identity-related question that is likely to spark controversy as the Man of Steel soars into theaters nationwide this Fourth of July weekend in Warner Bros. Pictures' "Superman Returns": Is Superman still American?

Ever since artist Joe Shuster and writer Jerry Siegel created the granddaddy of all comic book icons in 1932, Superman has fought valiantly to preserve "truth, justice and the American way." Whether kicking Nazi ass on the radio in the '40s or wrapping himself in the Stars and Stripes on TV during the Cold War or even rescuing the White House's flag as his final feat in "Superman II," the Krypton-born, Smallville-raised Ubermensch always has been steeped in unmistakable U.S. symbolism.

But in the latest film incarnation, scribes Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris sought to downplay Superman's long-standing patriot act. With one brief line uttered by actor Frank Langella, the caped superhero's mission transformed from "truth, justice and the American way" to "truth, justice and all that stuff."

"The world has changed. The world is a different place," Pennsylvania native Harris says. "The truth is he's an alien. He was sent from another planet. He has landed on the planet Earth, and he is here for everybody. He's an international superhero."

In fact, Dougherty and Harris never even considered including "the American way" in their screenplay. After the wunderkind writing duo ("X2: X-Men United") conceived "Superman's" story with director Bryan Singer during a Hawaiian vacation, they penned their first draft together and intentionally omitted what they considered to be a loaded and antiquated expression. That decision stood throughout the 140-day shoot in Australia, where the pair remained on-set to provide revisions and tweaks.."

"We were always hesitant to include the term 'American way' because the meaning of that today is somewhat uncertain," Ohio native Dougherty explains. "The ideal hasn't changed. I think when people say 'American way,' they're actually talking about what the 'American way' meant back in the '40s and '50s, which was something more noble and idealistic."

The rest of this annoying story.

More June gloom.

2006-06-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

Forgot to mention another reason why June blew chunks. Phil Hendrie, AKA the most brilliant freakin' man on radio, retired from radio.

Why, you ask, would the most brilliant freakin' man on radio retire from radio? The dumb ass wants to be a TV and movie star. These sort of tragedies happen every now and then. Jim Brown retired from football to be an actor, Michael Jordan retired from basketball to play baseball, and Barry Sanders retired from the stupid Lions to get away from the stupid Lions.

I started listening to Phil about 12 years ago when I was living in Miami and have been a hardcore fan ever since. I'm going to miss him.

Here's a montage from his last show broadcast June 23. I think it's a free file but I'm not sure.

Also, his official website is still up and running. It has a full archive of every minute of every show from the last 5 years plus show clips dating back to even before his Miami days. It's only $6.95 a month.

Superman's return.

2006-06-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

Caught the new Superman flick yesterday afternoon at the Chinese. I had a good time but realize that much of my enjoyment was the result of a nominal return to health and my Pavlovian response to director Brian Singer's shrewd use of John Williams' theme music from the much superior 1978 film. In fact, Singer is so in awe of that movie, he seems to at some point have convinced himself he had no hope of surpassing or even competing with it. The result is a $200 million version of the Monty Python LEGO short I linked in an earlier post. Except with that much money you don't have to use LEGO, you can afford Kevin Spacey.

Here's my overall evaluation of the new movie.

Kevin Spacey (Lex Luther) not as good as Gene Hackman.
Kate Bosworth (Lois Lane) not as good as Margot Kidder.
Parker Posey (bad girl with a heart of gold) not as good as Valerie Perine.
Brandon Routh (Superman/Clark Kent) not as good as Christopher Reeve.
Frank Langella (Perry White) not as good as Jackie Cooper.
Sam Huntington (Jimmy Olsen) not as good as Marc McClure.
Lex Luthor's dumb real estate plot just as dumb as Lex Luthor's dumb real estate plot.
___________ (comic relief) not as good as Ned Beatty.
Superman's mission to fight for "truth, justice... all that stuff" not as good as "Truth, justice, and the American way."

The comic relief thing may be the biggest flaw of Superman Returns. It is SOOOOOOOO serious while it's predecessor was a lot of fun. I would have appreciated one or two 'Otisburg' moments.

June gloom update.

2006-06-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

My mom was right. Cheap merlot is a miracle drug. Woke up today feeling better than I have in weeks. And the Tigers are leading 1-0 in the bottom of the 6th. Life is good.

June gloom.

2006-06-27T11:17:00.000-07:00

Can't wait for June to end. Allergies... that turned into a head cold... that turned into a week-long sore throat... and now, for the last two days, what seems to be a nasty case of food poisoning (and all the fun that usually entails). Add to all this a general malaise and prolonged bout of morbid introspection and you end up with a pretty crappy month.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to July. In the mean time, my mom tells me that red wine is good for battling food poisoning. So, here I am on a Tuesday morning, enjoying a glass of cheap merlot.

At least the Tigers are having a great month.

More movies, less casinos!

2006-06-23T19:25:00.000-07:00

Spent the afternoon in Venice doing some extra work. Actually, there wasn't much work involved. They fed us some pretty good food and all I had to do was sit in the audience of a fake infomercial for about an hour. Spent the rest of the time chatting with other extras and some of the crew. It's been awhile since I've been on a movie set. I realized that while I do enjoy my job at the casino, I still really want to be out there making movies and need to re-commit myself to that idea. If I can spend an hour or two blogging every day, there's no reason I can't find the time to do some screenwriting.

The definition of insanity.

2006-06-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

A little more navel gazing.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results."

This quote is generally attributed to Ben Franklin (though some say it was Albert Einstein... weird, since these are men separated by a couple of centuries). While it may sound clever, it has always struck me as being too limited in it's view of the word being defined. There seem to be plenty of things you would have to do only once to be considered on the crazier end of the sanity spectrum.

I began to think more deeply about this idea after starting work in the casino. I realized that if Franklin was right, I spend 40 hours a week in an asylum. Day after day, night after night, people drag themselves out of their house, drive to Inglewood, sit their asses down at a table, and engage in an activity they all know will eventually end in only one result, losing. And every night, I ask myself, "why?"

I know there are many answers to this question. But what I find really fascinating is how some gamblers see all the losing as confirming their view of themselves and the world. If you think you're a loser who is the victim of either a system rigged against you or just plain bad luck, then walking out of the casino broke is a validating experience.

The reason I bring any of this up is that I've begun to wonder how Mr. Franklin would judge my sanity. I've realized there are aspects of my life with which I am not happy but can't seem to change because I end up making the same mistakes I've already made time and time again. Each time, I tell myself, "this time it's going to be different" but it never is. Why do I do this? Maybe I really don't want to be happy. Maybe I am like the compulsive gambler who is somehow validated by failure because deep down he believes he is fated to be a loser.

To be completely honest, when things in my life don't go as hoped, I generally alternate between two reactions: 1) The world is f****d up, or 2) I'm an idiot. Both observations are probably true, but perhaps I should worry less about the former, which I can do very little about, and more about the latter, which I should be able to make at least some incremental progress in correcting.

The blog that lives again.

2006-06-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've tried to re-create the blog that got lost yesterday. It went something like this.

Received a couple comments on my soccer sucks post from my new friend in the blogosphere, Chemical, who hails from the great city of Belfast, UK. Chemical has been attempting to get me to check out rugby as a sport that may be more deserving of my interest than the so-called "beautiful game" which is getting a bit more attention around here than usual these days but, once the World Cup is over, I won't have to hear anything about for another 4 years.

Before I proceed, let me first say that I am quite tickled that someone from all the way across the Atlantic Ocean has bothered to read any of my nonsensical musings. Second, while I may occcasionally bag on rugby or soccer players, I should confess that my sport was swimming, which generally doesn't involve much contact unless you count the time I ran my forehead into the side of the pool during a race in 8th grade.

Now, about rugby. I'll deal first with the pros...

I have some friends who played it in college. I know these guys to be pretty cool and since they decided to play rugby and not soccer, rugby is probably much cooler.

There seems to be a lot of ritual drunkeness following rugby matches as opposed to just the common every day drunkeness soccer fans engage in... Rugby 2, Soccer 0.

I was watching a World Cup match the other day and a guy was carried off the field on a stretcher because he had a SHOULDER injury... Rugby 2, Soccer -200

Chemical brought to my attention a pre-match tradition carried on by the New Zealand All Blacks called the Haka... Rugby 202, Soccer -200

Now, some of my observations on rugby.

Rugby doesn't really make a good video game. Either that or maybe I should have tried to read the instructions... or maybe actually knowing the rules would be helpful.

There seems to be a lot of punting in rugby (not sure of the actual rugby term for it). Being a Detroit Lions fan, I've already seen enough punting to last me several lifetimes.

Rugby fans will often hit you with some lame comment that goes something like "American football players are wusses because they wear pads and helmuts." Well, I don't know how to go about setting this up but you pick any rugby player on earth, line him up against Ray Lewis for a few downs and then ask his opinion is on pads and helmuts.

Some rugby clubs now have cheerleaders... Actually, I'm torn about this. On the one hand, cheerleaders are usually reasonably attractive women in skimpy clothes. This is a good thing. On the other hand, it does seem like a desperate attempt to compete with the clearly superior sport of American football.

For those of you who think I've been too harsh in my criticism of rugby and soccer, I'll end this blog with an attempt to find some common ground with the fans of those sports. I'd rather watch the crappiest soccer/rugby match ever than one minute of the WNBA, which is not a sport so much as a NBA PR campaign.

The blog that never was...

2006-06-20T16:54:00.000-07:00

Just finished a brilliant blog on how the sport of rugby may in fact suck slightly less than soccer but it somehow didn't save correctly and is now gone forever. I may try to re-create it later but, right now, I have to go out drinkin'.

Soccer... why does it suck so much?

2006-06-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many years people have been trying to sell soccer to Americans but maybe it's time they come up with a pitch other than variations of, "Hey, the whole world goes gaga over this stuff, you should too... dummies." Get a few chicks in there. Give Paris Hilton a soccer ball, play some Aerosmith, and turn on the sprinkler system.

I should be sleeping but am watching the USA-Italy match. One of the Italians was just issued something called a "red card" so they have to play shorthanded the rest of the match. It's 1-1. I bet there isn't another score the rest of the game. Imagine the Red Wings playing 2/3 of a game on the power play and not being able to score.

Here are some other observations about why soccer sucks...

All the best players are not Americans. This in itself does not make a sport suck but it doesn't help.
The USA scored on an "own goal"... what other sport does that happen in?
It's an entire sport made up of kickers. Those are the guys John Madden makes fun of, right?
Oh great, USA has a red card now... make up call anyone? God, this sport blows!!!
They flashed some stat earlier about teams scoring first being 27-2-2. Who wants to watch a sport like that? Where are the Joe Montana-John Elway-Michael Jordan-Derek Jeter last minute heroics?
Anyone want to bet that the cheesy reality show being pushed by ABC, Master of Champions gets a bigger rating than this game I'm watching now?
There's no crying in baseball, but in soccer... there seems to be a lot of taking dives and rolling around on the groud in "agony". If anyone does that in real football, it probably means every ligament below the waist has just been torn to shreds. Also, I didn't see Dwayne Wade acting like that in the "fall 99 times, get up 107" ad he was in.
Another USA player just got thrown out of the game... now THEY have to play short-handed... it's possible Americans may never watch another soccer match again.

I think I'm going to get a donut.

Snakes on a Plane Auditions

2006-06-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

This made me laugh.

The Milkman Prophesies

2006-06-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

My friend and sometimes writing partner, Mike, used to call me the Milkman because of my ability to turn a decent one or two line joke into a three page excersise in excess. I think I might have done that now with all this dating stuff. New topic tomorrow.

It's not personal, it's business.

2006-06-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Last week, in response to my math of dating in Hollywood rant... er... I mean post, Eduardo suggested I check out something he posted back in April on a movie called The Tao of Steve. I've never seen this film but, from what I can gather, it exposes a philosophy for men to follow that will better equip them to hook up with women. As Ed puts it, this philosophy boils down to creating a persona for yourself that mimics a male "archetype (Steve Austin, Steve McQueen, Steve McGarret) of cool non-chalance." In other words, the key to getting the women you want is being able to act like you really don't care about getting them but obviously find so important that you're willing to ditch the persona you've been working with for years and instead go around trying to act like The Six Million Dollar Man.

In another response to the same post, Anonymous complained about "men who are DICKS-men who aren't honest with the women they are trying to bed... or guys that are so caught up in their own world making them blind to anyone but themselves. " Well, she's right, but women aren't the only one's who've observed this problem. It's also been noticed by all the men out there who aren't DICKS - all the nice guys who famously finish last and can't help but notice that the DICKS are the one's who seem to end up with same gals they are pursuing. The nice guys conclude that the key to dating must be the ability to behave like some sort of sociopath who can't (or just doesn't try) to empathize with another person's feelings - the kind of guy Anonymous seems to have unfortunately run into once or twice.

For these and others reasons, some guys have concluded it is indeed "phooey" when women talk about how enamored they are of a good sense of humor and it is equally a load of malarkey (haven't heard that word since Grandpa Ornowski passed) when they continually advise their male friends to "just be yourself."

But if you're not going to be yourself, who exactly are you going to be? What if you think The Tao of Steve is a brilliant insight into male-female relationships but you can't run in slow motion and "Book 'em Danno" hasn't turned out to be as effective an opening line as you might have hoped? Don't worry, there are plenty of other "experts" out there willing to lend you a helping hand... for a price, always for a price.

For only $37, you can "Learn The SSP Seduction System To Make Women Crave Sex Like Crazy..."
$68 will solve your problems if you often find yourself saying, "I Don't Want Some Pig-Like Fatty, I Want A Woman That Is Classy and Beautiful. " Be sure to watch the riveting testimonials by the satisfied customers of this site.
$39.97 will reveal to you the "The Lazy Man's Way To Easy Sex and Romance With 20 or More Women a Month." Lazy Man's Way, huh? Sounds right up my alley.
A woman named Rachel Davis says, "YOU Could Be Making Time, Making Out, and Making Love... With The Most Gorgeous Little Piece Of “Action” Who Thinks You’re The Greatest Thing Since The Wonder Bra!"... for the low, low price of $47.
Three payments of $31.46 will get you Derek Vitalio's Complete Seduction Science System including 5 FIVE CDs of digitally recorded deep-trance material.

There are many others out there with similar offers but if you want more of a hands-on approach to learning how to succeed with women, consider attending Ron Louis and David Copeland's 4-day Los Angeles Approach Camp. It will only set you back $1495!!!

What do I think of all this? Have I emptied my bank account writing checks to the likes of Rachel Davis and Derek Vitalio? No. Even though I fully acknowledge I have a long way to go in the area of self-improvement (who doesn't?), and I'm not always happy about being a single person, I kind of like my persona just the way it is. I think I have that much-maligned great sense of humor and believe I'm generally smarter than the average bear. If I care about something or someone, I tend to care very deeply and I'm not always good about remaining cool or non-chalant. And, even though I know it makes me a big sap, I can't help but care about a woman's feelings. Add to this a strong stubborn streak and I guess you're looking at someone who's going to remain just being himself until it kills him.

This is getting ridiculous

2006-06-14T17:01:00.001-07:00

A little too "on the nose" if you ask me.

Spiderman outs himself to the press.

NEW YORK (AFP) - For a comic book hero, it's the ultimate taboo. In the latest edition of the Marvel comic "Civil War" on sale, Spiderman does the unthinkable and removes his Spidey mask to publicly reveal his hidden identity.

"I'm proud of who I am, and I'm here right now to prove it," the legendary webslinger tells a press conference called in New York's Times Square, before pulling off his mask and standing before the massed ranks of reporters as newspaper photographer Peter Parker.

"Any questions?" Parker asks in the final panel of the issue, amid a barrage of camera flashes.

In a statement, Marvel trumpeted the revelation as "arguably the most shocking event in comic book history."

Here's the rest of the story.

Let me go back in there and face the peril!

2006-06-14T05:59:00.000-07:00

Just a little more on the whole INFP deal from yesterday's post.

The Keirsey website says that a healer "is the Prince or Princess of a fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad." Well, if there is any Galahad in me, he seems too often to be the guy who stumbles into Castle Anthrax in scene 15 of Monty Python and the Holy Grail rather than the purest of knights chronicled by Sir Thomas Malory in Le Morte d'Arthur.

Speaking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, here's a shot-by-shot recreation of the Camelot scene done entirely with LEGO.

Frnknsalsa & Princess Di = kindred spirits?

2006-06-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the fact that I've entered my 5th decade of life or maybe working the graveyard shift at Hollywood Park Casino for 2 years would provoke anyone to take new stock of themselves but, as of late, I've been doing a bit more navel gazing than usual. Nearly everyone indulges in this practice now and then. Some spend a small fortune on years of psychotherapy to discover insights into who they are and why they do the things they do. Others rush down to Border's so they can grab the latest self-help tome being pushed on us by the Oprah's of the world. Gil, being one of the laziest and cheapest people on the planet, took a free, 70-question, 10-minute online personality test. No, not the Which Simpsons Character Are You Test (I'm Dr. Hibbert by the way), I'm talking about the Keirsey temperament Sorter II which its creators claim to have "helped over 30 million people worldwide to gain insight into themselves and the people around them." I don't know about that but, I must say, I am fascinated by the results.

Apparently, my temperament is that of an idealist and my character is that of a healer. This specific personality type is also known as an iNFp, which stands for introvert, intuitive, feeling, perceptive.

Here's how one website describes me and others of my ilk (including the late Princess Diana)...

INFPs-live their lives focusing on their values. They know what is important to them and protect this at all cost. Their values focus on the optimistic verses the pessimistic, although they are often conscience of the negative. To understand the INFP is to understand their cause. They can work tirelessly toward a cause that deems worthy. They will quietly let others know what is important to them, and rarely will they give up on their purpose. They will go along with the crowd, sometimes even letting decisions be made for them, until someone violates their value system. Then they will dig their heels into the ground and will speak up for their feelings, insisting their values be followed.

INFPs are withdrawn and are sometimes hard to get to know. Some may view them as shy. But those that take the time to get to know them will find them warm and gentle, with a surprising sense of humor. They care deeply for those they consider special friends. Putting forth-unusual sacrifices to help such individuals. They often have a subtle, tragic motif running through their lives -- inner pain and unease which others seldom detect.

INFPs are creative and are constantly seeking out new possibilities. They have a gift with language and usually will express this by means of writing. Their intuitive preference supplies the imagination and their feeling preference giving them the need to communicate. They are gifted at interpreting symbols - being drawn to metaphors and similes. Because of these gifts they often write in lyric fashion. INFPs work must be more than just a paycheck, it must be fun and must contribute to something that is important to their values. To be the most productive they need a sense of purpose behind their job. They often have to look at the large picture in order to see how specific programs fit in. They are adaptable to changes and to new ideas. They work well with others being conscience of others feelings and relating with most, though not always vocally. They like to work with others who are cooperative and who share their same set of values. They strive for harmony and dislike conflict.

INFPs treasure their privacy and may keep a lot to themselves. They need time and space for reflection. Others usually get along well with them, although they may not know them intimately. INFPs may not always be organized. They may tend to lose things or to forget appointments. Only when they see the importance of organization in a task will they strive to work at it in an organized way to get it done. They can be extremely patient with complicated issues, but may become impatient with routine and details.

INFPs strive for perfection, and this is especially the case when using their feeling preference. They may have trouble finishing a project, because they never find it is good enough. Even when the project must be finished, they may feel the need to go back and improve on it later.

Reluctantly INFPs may accept leadership roles. They lead with their values being their guide. They do not aggressively lead people, but rather work with people to develop their talents and to independently achieve their goals. They have a hard time criticizing others, but will try to motivate them by their appreciation and praise. When conflicts arise, they avoid directly approaching the situation, but would rather wait for the others to work out the situation themselves.

INFPs view leisure activity as very important. However they may have a difficulty separating it from work. If they have a special skill they use at work, they may use this skill in their leisure time to help friends, family or those in need. When they are interested in pursuing a new leisure activity, they may spend a great deal of time researching this activity. Many INFPs enjoy activities that are done alone such as reading, listening to music, or gardening. This gives them the opportunity for reflection and meditation. They may also enjoy social activities with those they feel close to. When they want to be social they can be outgoing, charming and quiet funny, making them a pleasure to have around.

INFPs present a calm and pleasant face to the world around them. Because they are reserved, they may be over looked. But to those that know them they have a view into their warmth and concern and their deep commitments to their values.

Wow, ain't I the complex one? I have to admit, I am a little skeptical about how much a 10-minute, 70-question free online questionnaire can really tell you about yourself but I do find a lot of truth in the preceding description and find it interesting that the same website recommends that among the careers iNFp's should consider pursuing are those of writer, college professor, and religious educator - three jobs I've tried, found myself to have some talent for, and have enjoyed immensely.

Here's a list of other, more famous INFPs although I'm not exactly sure when some of them were able to get online to take the test.

Homer
Virgil
Mary, mother of Jesus
St. John, the beloved disciple
St. Luke; physician, disciple, author
William Shakespeare, bard of Avon
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Evangeline)
A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie)
Helen Keller, deaf and blind author
Carl Rogers, reflective psychologist, counselor
Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers' Neighborhood)
Dick Clark (American Bandstand)
Donna Reed, actor (It's a Wonderful Life)
Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis
Neil Diamond, vocalist
Tom Brokaw, news anchor
James Herriot (All Creatures Great and Small)
Annie Dillard (Pilgrim at Tinker Creek)
James Taylor, vocalist
Julia Roberts, actor (Conspiracy Theory, Pretty Woman)
Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap)
Terri Gross (PBS's "Fresh Air")
Amy Tan (author of The Joy-Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife)
John F. Kennedy, Jr.
Lisa Kudrow ("Phoebe" of Friends)
Fred Savage ("The Wonder Years")

If anyone else out there has already taken this test or are planning to take it now, let me know about the results and what you think of them.

It's just allergies... not!

2006-06-13T00:18:00.000-07:00

What I thought was just a pronounced hangover and a wicked allergy attack was, in fact, the oncoming of a full blown summer cold. Called out from work and just woke up from a day-long NyQuil-induced coma. Feel too crappy to even think of a witty way to end this post. I'm getting back in bed.

Ugh... me no feel good.

2006-06-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

Arranged to get last night off from work so I could go to a party. Drank far too much and am paying for it right now. It's going to be a long night tonight.

Anonymous Annie was there and said some very nice things about the blog. I feel kind of bad. First, as she put it, I "rip her a new one" in yesterday's post, then last night, I'm not sure but I very possibly insulted her or something during a drunken debate on national energy policy. I hope I didn't but it's happened before. One of the best compliments ever paid to me was by a professor at the University of Miami who said, "Gil, every company should have at least one person like you working for them because you're passionate and a pain in the ass." And he never saw me in action after a couple of White Russians and two very large glasses of 100 proof SoCo on the rocks. Anyway, Annie is a super nice person and I admire her for mixing it up with me the way she does.

After Annie left and the SoCo really started to do it's job, Frank and I had a lively discussion about whether or not there is a moral aspect to the act of... uh... well, this is a family blog and I won't get into it. I apologize to any ladies who may have been within earshot.

I should have tried this earlier.

2006-06-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

Blogging is kind of fun but what's even better is a good argument... even a silly one. My advice to fellow bloggers out there? If you're getting bored, just give women a little bit of a hard time. You'll definitely liven things up a bit.

Received a few good responses to my Hollywood dating post from yesterday.

Our friend Anonymous said...

Gil, Gil, Gil,This latest blog has got me in somewhat of a fit myself. I laugh at the probable, but real percentages that you have computed. But to say that EVERY woman in H'wood is like your description...is ludicrous. Okay, okay, I admit there are quite a number of mean, nasty, and fame grubbing whores out there, but please don't lump us all into one big steaming pile of BITCH. No, were not all Paris Hilton types or the...well, Paris Hilton type. Some of us are just nice girls looking for some nice guys who appreciate all we do for them and treat us like their favorite dessert at the end of the meal...cherished...or relished...something to that affect. Most women that I talk to or listen to on TV, radio,and whatnot often comment that a sense of humor is most important in the attractiveness of a guy, not rock hard abs, not chiseled cheekbones, not buns that could crack a nutshell, but good ol' humor. Of course, being easy on the eyes is not a problem. What's the problem then? The problem is men who are DICKS-men who aren't honest with the women they are trying to bed...in all honestness, or guys that are so caught up in their own world making them blind to anyone but themselves. So, Frnknsalsa what do we do about the problem? Try to find good partners in bars? Wrong! Try to find our match with a dating service? Wrong! I'll tell you one way we could fix the problem- open mike comedy night dating...What the hell? you may say. Think about it, if what women find attractive in a men is a sense of humor, and a man wants to find a woman that'll be honest with him, put that man/woman onstage and tell'em to let loose with all the shit in their lives...you may just find that someone out there shares the same shitty experiences. Thus, enabling both of you to experience the rest of your shitty lives together...hopefully laughing.Just remember a smile and a giggle is the best disease you could give a person, it's contagious and will make you memorable.And that's all I have to say about that!

... thanks Anonymous.

First of all, did you just say you wanted to be treated like relish on a meal? Not sure what that means but I'm willing to give it a try if that's what you're into. Sounds a little kinky but not in a really icky way. Second. Why bring Paris Hilton into this? What did she ever do to you? Catfight, RROWWW!!! This forces me to point out how so many women go around badmouthing other female type persons but when you decide to join in the fun, you end up getting an email telling you how full of crap you are. You rarely find guys constantly trying to tear down other dudes... unless that other dude happens to be George Clooney. That freakin' moron just sold some land in Vegas for like a gazillion dollar profit. Oooh, how I hate that guy. And I suspect he likes superheroes a little too much as well. Know what I mean?... Third. I dont' know how a nice little discussion about everything that's wrong with women gets turned into an opportunity for men bashing. Wasn't 6 seasons of Sex and the City enough for all that? Let's try to stay on topic from now on, okay? Forth. Open mic comedy dating? I didn't see that mentioned anywhere on Dr. Neil Clark Warren's 29 Key Dimensions of Compatibility. Fifth... I guess there isn't a fifth, so I'll just sum up everything I've gotten out your emails the past couple of days. Uh... let's see... superheroes... gay guys... DICKS... and weird sex games involving Paris Hilton, pickled relish, unidentified dessert foods, nutshells, and someone's chiseled ass.

The next email is from another female reader, Anonymous Annie...

I know that the world beats us all down sometimes. That said, I would really take it easy on us women. When I met my wonderful husband of seven years, I was hardly grubbing for a career from him (he's a teacher). Nor did I give a crap whether he resembled some celebrity. I actually was just thrilled to meet someone with whom I had so much in common (except for that he was kinder, gentler, better with money, wiser, funnier, and could translate ancient Greek). I guess I could understand why a woman would gravitate towards pretty boys or towards "career-enhancers" if the real thing hadn't come along yet. But when everyone has their guard up and is so cynical, what are the odds that they'll know it or even recognize it when it comes along? This may sound like starry-eyed clap-trap to you, but it's common sense that you will find what you are looking for out there. If you expect to find vapid gold-diggers, by all means, keep approaching 23-year old actress types who are hanging out in hot-spots and bars waiting to be discovered. If you expect to find someone cool who is more mature than that, I'd suggest looking other places, like volunteer organizations or libraries. And don't blame those of us women who lucked out and found a good relationship by saying that our reasons are unfathomable. Love is unfathomable, but relationships take work, for anyone, man or woman.

Annie

Hmmm... okay, let's say that the reason I wrote what I did yesterday was because life really was beating me down. Well, thanks for trying to cheer me up by telling me how fan-freakin'-tastic your freakin' husband is. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure he really is a great guy but it's my guess you're one of those people who can't wait to tell me what a dope I am for buying an American car right after my Ford Focus breaks down. Yeah, I know, Toyota's are God's gift to internal combustion but I don't necessarily want to hear about it right after I get stuck with a $800 bill for a new set of brakes or something. Also, you made me realize that I left sort of the wrong impression in yesterday's post. I am not, in fact, one of those guys out prowling the Sunset Strip night after night looking to pick up vapid 23-year old gold-diggers. But, to be honest, it does sound like a giant step up from how I currently spend my weekends. Basically, I am so lame, I spend my free time getting mad at women I have absolutely no chance of ever meeting. Thanks for pointing that out to me, Annie. Lastly, until now, my middle name has been Starry-eyed Clap Trap. That was even the original title of my blog, Starry-eyed Clap Trap by Frnknsalsa. And just where has it gotten me? Maybe, I'll change my middle name to Bitter-Cynical Clap Trap for awhile and see how it works out.

Now, for a more sensible take on my humble musings (and the preceeding comments by the lovely ladies), let's hear from Eduardo...

Bah and humbug, and dare I say phooey?I agree about 97.3% with Frnknsalsa. Women cannot admit to themselves that they are attracted by material things and physical attributes. In the history of the world, no woman has ever answered something other than "a good sense of humor" in what they are looking for in a man. I submit to you that comedy clubs are not crawling with single women vying for the attention of the talented, yet-to-be-discovered comedians. David Spade had no problem getting women as soon as he got money. Fascinating. Not that I am holding him up as a paragon of on-stage humor, but Dennis Miller once said that off stage, Spade was "the funniest cat in the business."

You're a wise man, Ed. Probably why you don't live in Hollywood.

Warm up the virgins.

2006-06-09T14:15:00.000-07:00

The New York Post rocks!

The math of dating in Hollywood.

2006-06-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

In response to my So, you like superheroes, eh? post on Wednesday, Anonymous said...

Gil,

Dig the website. Nice commentary, good judge of topics. I feel I agree with most of your opinions, but did you have to go there with Superman? Or my fave, Batman...c'mon man, let me have a lil' fun in thinking that there is some good looking, mask wearing, vigilante, who just wants to make his dumpy city a little bit better. I live in a popular somewhat gay city...do you have to ruin my superheroes to?*

*This is no way shape or form meant to offend gay/lesbian people...I love you all, but from a straight white girl's perspective...there's not too many straight men in H'wood.Blog on my friend.

Let me start by thanking you for the kind words. Also, I'm quite amused by the use of the disclaimer but I sincerely doubt we have to worry about some hoard of... ahem... closet gay/lesbian blog readers who are going to be offended by any of this. If there are, it's my guess they'll get over it.

Now, before I continue this post, here's my own disclaimer:

This following is in no way shape or form meant to offend straight white girls... I love you all but from a straight white guy's perspective... you really know how to tighten my jaws sometimes.

Got that? Good. Now let's proceed.

Question. How many other single straight guys are as absolutely sick and tired as I am of hearing women complain about there being "too many gay guys" out there? How are we supposed to feel about this? Think about it. Let's say that 3-5% of the overall population is gay and then assume it's 2 or 3 or even 5 times higher than that in Hollywood. This would still mean that about 75% of the men in Hollywood are straight. Therefore, even if half of those guys are already in relationships, we're still talking about 30-40% of all the men in Hollywood who are single and straight but who women consider to be such losers they'll never be able to compete with any of those dreamy gay dudes.

All right, I'll go ahead and concede that there are indeed quite a few losers out there. But this still leaves a sizable contingent of guys who may not lead double lives fighting the Riddlers and Penguins of the world, but who make an attempt to do the little things that can help make dumpy cities a little less dumpy (like writing clever blogs to brighten your day for instance). By the way, if someone's wearing a mask, how the hell do you know how good looking he is anyway?

Here's another Hollywood dating statistic, taken from my own research...

About 80-90% of the women in Hollywood who are not lesbians will only consider a relationship with you if: 1) You can help them get ahead in their career, or 2) They can show you off at parties (generally, this means you vaguely resemble whomever the current Hollywood glamour boy might be). If you somehow satisfy both of these requirements, you are considered to be the perfect man.

It doesn't really bother me that women are this shallow. They'll never be able to compete with men when it comes to that skill. What bugs me is that they're not capable of being honest about it. For once, instead of listening to a woman talk about how she would just like to meet a decent, intelligent guy, with a great sense of humor, blah, blah, blah... I think it would be refreshing to hear, "I'd just like to meet a guy who can get me a speaking part on My Name is Earl." Or instead of complaining about the glut of gay men in Hollywood, she could say, "There just aren't any straight guys out there who look enough like Jake Gyllenhaal to make my friends jealous." This kind of honesty, while harsh, would be greatly appreciated because it'll help spare me the trauma of suggesting the possibility of a date or some sort of other more intimate encounter to a fetching young lady only to have her look at me as if I not only insulted her, her mother, and her father but her entire ancestral lineage as well. *

*The remaining 10-20% of women who don't fall into the above group choose their boyfriends for reasons that are so entirely irrational, an infinite number of MIT grad students could work for an infinite number of years trying to explain it with an infinite number of algorithms and still never figure it out.

So Anonymous, thanks for getting me all riled up and supplying me with a topic for the blog. For the record, I don't see anything wrong with women being into superheroes. But, any guy past of the age of... oh, let's say 12... who is really into that stuff. Well, I think it's a little suspect.

So, you like superheroes, eh?

2006-06-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

I remember an old Lenny Bruce cartoon based on one of his stand-up routines called "Thank You Masked Man." It spoofs the Lone Ranger and ends with the title character trying to get together with Tonto for "An unnatural act." Funny stuff. And for years we've all heard the snickering about what's REALLY going on between Batman and Robin.

Now, with the upcoming release of Superman Returns, superheroes and their superfans everywhere are coming out of their superclosets. Read this article from last week's Los Angeles Times and all this stuff on Defamer then judge for yourself.

Could be the start of a new euphemism. Imagine this conversation taking place around the water cooler.

"Hey, you know that new guy, Joe? I think he likes superheroes a little too much. Know what I mean?"

There's a little Damien... in Bristol

2006-06-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

This story is probably all over the web today and is just too weird.

There's a little bit of Damien in all of us.

2006-06-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

Happy 6/6/6. Spent the last couple of days being amused by all the interest and speculation surrounding this particular date. As a Catholic, I have a different understanding of The Book of Revelation as it pertains to end times prophecy than my Evangelical brothers and sisters do. I am therefore not as obsessed with looking for and interpreting signs in order to predict when the end will come. It could happen at any time and we need to always be spiritually prepared to face it whether we think we can figure out who has the number of the beast or not.

A few of my friends know that I am semi-serious about my religion and asked me if I thought anything bad would happen today. I thought about it and asked them, "Don't you watch the news? Bad things happen every single day." In case you haven't noticed, The Devil has been loose in this world ever since the days of Adam and Eve and he's going to continue to be around, causing as much trouble as possible until Judgment Day. And the sad truth is that he's able to accomplish his sinister work because it's very easy for him to find so many willing human accomplices.

I understand that the concept of Anti-Christ, the son of Satan and therefore the human embodiment all that is evil is an intriguing thing to think about, but perhaps this is a good time to reflect on the fact that, from time-to-time, there is a little Anti-Christ in us all. Any time we are anti-love, anti-truth, or anti-hope we are in fact anti-Christ. Yes, Jesus will come again and vanquish the Evil One once and for all, but it is up to each of us to fight him on a personal level in our daily lives. It's an enormously difficult task, but it's something we can all do, with the Lord's help.

God Bless

Daysleeping

2006-06-02T12:17:00.000-07:00

I work nights. So, this means I have to sleep during the day... or at least try to. My landlady is having work done on her floor which happens to be directly above my apartment. There are many pounding and drilling noises going on right now. I should have been asleep several hours ago but am instead blogging and drinking 100 proof Southern Comfort.

No play for Mr. Gray... until now anyway.

2006-05-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, let me first admit that I hate "reality" television. I really don't understand what makes people watch shows like Survivor and The Bachelor or whatever the new hot thing is. My distaste for the genre extends even to the current cultural phenomenon known as American Idol. I tried to watch it once, I really did but I just couldn't take it. The music is bland as bland can be, Simon is a smug prick, and everything Paula Abdul says sounds like one of Stuart Smalley's Daily Affirmations. I saw or heard nothing on Idol to keep me from turning off the TV and tuning into AM 570 to find out what Phil Hendrie is up to. At least Vernon Dozier is a smug prick that makes me laugh.

Then, the other night at the casino, I see on one of the TV screens the winner of this year's contest being announced and... huh? It's some gray hair dude named Taylor Hicks!

Now, you may remember from an earlier post that not only do I also fall into the category of being "prematurely gray," but I've grown a little self-conscious about it since turning 40 last November. But once I saw Mr. Hicks up there on stage being cheered by hundreds of adoring fans, I knew a once-in-a-lifetime moment was upon us. Taylor has a chance to make gray hair cool in a way slackers like George Clooney and Anderson Cooper never could.

After all, did either of these guys ever make David Hasselhoff cry?

One bit of advice to Taylor. Don't blow it. Make the absolute most of this moment. Remember how Clay Aiken almost made being a geek seem cool? And how about that fat guy a few years ago? Well, geeks are again just geeks and fat guys... well, did anyone really want to see Hurley in a love scene with the hot blonde chick on Lost anyway? By this time next year, the good people at Fox with crown a new champion with some odd physical characteristic and I don't want to be writing a blog about how we men of the gray blew this historic opportunity.

Hey, maybe the 2007 American Idol will be some guy who's over 40, short and has no money. Then I'll really be set.

Now what?

2006-05-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

All right, I'm on myspace now. For months, everyone's been telling me, "you have to get on myspace."

Now what? I'm fully expecting my life to change in profound and wonderful ways.

http://www.myspace.com/frnknsalsa

The Return of Frnknsalsa

2006-05-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hey... just heard about this thing called blogging... oh... I already have a blog? What? No one's going to read it because MySpace is the in thing now?

Oh well.

Hi all. What have I been up to since you last heard from me?

Pai Gow... lots of Pai Gow.
Almost zero writing.
Fantasy baseball.
Approaching 13,000 MP3s.
Uh...

That CAN'T be all. Can it?

It's the pictures that got small.

2006-03-06T09:48:00.000-08:00

To paraphrase a couple of lines of dialogue from one of my favorite films, Sunset Blvd...

Frnknsalsa: You're the Academy Awards. You used to be big.
The Oscars: I am big. It's the pictures that got small.

Tuned into what I thought were the Oscars last night but ended up watching something closer to the Independent Spirit Awards. Crash? Brokeback Mountain? Capote? Good Night and Good Luck? Remember a few years ago when a "small" movie of particular merit would manage a nomination in one or two of the big award categories that were generally dominated by big event pictures. Now, it's the other way around with Steven Spielberg getting a token nomination for Munich. Perhaps this is just an off year for Hollywood and we'll see some award worthy "big" movies in the years to come, but I definitely see a trend.

All in all, it was a rather bland event. Only when Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson made their appearances were we reminded of what real "star power" is. One actor I really want to like... mostly because he's prematurely gray but also because I've genuinely enjoyed some of his performances... is George Clooney. Unfortunately, he's prone to saying knuckleheaded things like these gems from his acceptance speech last night...

"And finally, I would say that... we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talked about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular, and we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people, gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy, proud to be part of this community and proud to be out of touch."

Uh... I think I remember reading that while Hattie McDaniel did win an Oscar for her performance in Gone with the Wind, she wasn't allowed to attend any afterparties. Also, wasn't it just a couple of years ago that Halle Berry was on stage celebrating the fact that a black woman had finally won again. I guess once every 50 or 60 years isn't bad.

What really struck me about Clooney's statement was the fact that he acknowleded what many people have been pointing out for years - that Hollywood is "out of touch" with Middle America and he and his peers are proud of it. Don't they realize this means that they're basically trying to sell a product to millions of people they don't even pretend to understand. Do they believe the good folks at Tide try to sell laundry detergent with that attitude? Is there any possibility that Mr. Clooney and his community have considered there might be a correlation between this disconnect between them and their fan base and declining box office revenue?

Nah... just blame it all on piracy.

I knew I should have bought the 60 gig.

2006-02-15T02:22:00.000-08:00

Where has your friendly neighborhood blogger, Frnknsalsa, been lately? Well, it seems that my obsessive compulsive nature only allows me to obsess with one or two things at a time. For the last few weeks, I've spent most of my free time either building and organizing my MP3 collection or playing Civ IV. Currently I have 10,754 files in my ITunes directory, which is about 3000 more than will fit on my 30 gig IPod. As a matter of fact, it just about filled the remaining free space on my computer's 70 gig hard drive which I've also set up to use as a DVR. Now, one hour of recorded TV takes up almost 3.5 gigs so I found myself in the midst of a memory crisis. Solution? Bought a 300 gig Maxtor external hard drive. Problem solved.

The reason my MP3 collection grew so dramatically was that I was able to raid my friend Mike's external hard drive who had previously raided his boss' external hard drive. So, I have about 31.1 days worth of material to enjoy even though I seem to spend most of my time listening to Queen's greatest hits.

Civ IV is proving to be every bit as addictive as any of it's predecessors and I briefly considered giving it up for Lent, which began yesterday. Instead, I went on a diet and gave up caffeine. I've been heavily caffeinated for over 20 years and right now have a huge headache as I suffer through withdrawel.

I'm really going to try to get back into the blogging frame of mind. Look for more entries soon.

No play for Mr. Gray.

2006-01-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

I think I'm still young enough to say that all my gray hair is "premature". I remember driving some typewriters around for my dad one day when I was about 20 or so, looking in the rear view mirror, and noticing this single white hair growing in the midst of an otherwise healthy head of thick, black hair. I yanked it out and examined it for a moment, wondering if I should try to preserve it somehow. I think I ended up tossing it on the carpet of the my car.

Since then the gray follicles have waged a successful war of attrition against their darker brethren who now number in the minority. This hasn't bothered me much and I've actually received quite a few complements about it. Richard Simmons was especially enamored of it. My favorite joke for many years has been-- There's nothing wrong with gray hair. Ask any bald guy.... hehehehe.

Lately though, I've been a bit more self-conscious about the gray, probably because I turned 40 a couple of months ago. I look in the mirror and it's like... I knew I was going gray but I didn't knew I was THIS gray. I won't dye it because that seems a bit "metro" to me and I'm generally one of the least metro guys on the planet but whenever I enter a bar or some other social setting, I find myself looking over my shoulder, searching for Keith Hernandez and Clyde Frazier in the Just for Men broadcast booth ready to call the action.

"OOOH, REJECTED! NO PLAY FOR MR. GRAY."

I did, however, shave off my beard and goatee in an effort to appear more youthful and it seems to have worked, at least according to some of my co-workers. Hmmmm... Perhaps I should just shave all my hair off?

How can anyone with nothing to do be so busy?

2006-01-24T20:49:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many people out there stop by this blog regularly but one of my known loyal readers, Mike Nyman, pointed out the other day that my posts are becoming less and less frequent. In fact, this is only my 3rd of the new year. That's less than one per week. Part of the reason for this is my habitual laziness but it also seems like I've been awfully busy as of late. Work, jury duty, teaching catechism, going to the gym, occasionally socializing with friends... my days already are pretty full... but I've also been trying to actually get some screenwriting done as well.

Writing is something that's always been difficult for me even during periods when I've been unemployed and have had plenty of time on my hands. Let me re-phrase that, it's not the writing that's difficult, it's forcing myself to do it that's tortuous. Take yesterday for instance. It was the first day of my weekend and I didn't have any plans beyond hitting the gym at some point, but did I get any writing done??? Not one line. What did I do instead? I went down to the office, visited some friends at KBS, watched the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica... oh, and I spent about 8 hours playing NCAA 2006 on the PS2. A very productive day, huh?

Oh, one other thing, the reason I went to the office was to pick up a training manual and a set of Pai Gow Tiles. I'm going to try to teach myself how to play this game so I can hopefully get another raise at work. That's going to involve dedicating another block of time each day during which I won't be writing.

On top of all this, I haven't played Civ IV in weeks... hmmmm... I have tonight off. Just an hour or two won't hurt, will it?

And Justice for All...

2006-01-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

Finished my first ever stint of jury duty yesterday... well, sort of. I was selected to serve on a jury in a criminal case but only as an alternate so I had to sit through 2 days of testimony but didn't get to take part in deliberations or cast a vote on guilt or innocence. It was a criminal case involving some very scary gang people and a drive-by shooting. A member of the 83 Gangster Crips was charged with aiding and abetting in the attempted murder of a couple of Rolling 60s Crips. The testimony was very interesting and kind of depressing. It's so easy to forget that not very far from where we all live and work in LA, a war is going on that has cost thousands of lives over the years. Especially sobering was the moment a LA Police Officer, during direct testimony, was asked to map the territorial boundaries of the gangs in question and he outlined some streets just a few blocks from where I work 5 nights a week.

The jury found the defendant guilty on all counts after about a full day of deliberations. Surprising, since less than 2 hours before reaching a verdict, they sent a note to the judge saying they were hopelessly deadlocked. He sent them back in to talk some more and they finished their work not long afterwards.

I must say I felt kind of cheated. I really wanted to be in there mixing it up witht the other jurors. I won't second guess their finding because I don't know how they reached it but my impression at the end of the trial was that the state's case was a little flimsy. The guy was definitely a gang member, a very bad dude up to no good but I'm not sure there was enough evidence showing he intended to aid and abet in a murder on the day in question.

It's probably a good thing I wasn't in the jury room because I have a feeling my contrarian impulses would have surfaced and I may have dug in my heels a bit. I kept having flashbacks to Henry Fonda in the great 1957 movie 12 Angry Men facing down bully Lee J. Cobb and convincing 11 other jurors to change their vote from guilty to innocent. Ironic, since I am an admitted conservative and Fonda was portraying a paragon of liberal open mindedness.

Speaking of liberal open-mindedness, one of my favorite moments of the jury selection process was when this guy from West Hollywood, a sound mixer and self-proclaimed member of the very liberal Move On.org announced that he doubted he could be unbiased in this case because he doesn't believe in gun ownership. The judge asked him if he was saying that he might vote to convict someone even if the evidence didn't prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, he said "yes". I don't know if he was saying this to get out of jury duty (he was eventually excused) but it really pissed me off at the time.

Overall, I'm glad to have had this experience. It's kind of funny that when you tell someone you have jury duty, they react as if you just told them about a death in the family. Yes, it's an inconvenience, and frequently a financial hardship if your employer doesn't pay for any jury days but if you are summoned, you should try to make the best of it. Also, although I wouldn't support any laws requiring employers to do so, I think they should make every effort to compensate for at least a few days of jury duty. If we're going to have a jury system, then we should all contribute to making it work.

2006... Still no Flying Cars

2006-01-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Rang in 2006 working at HPC last night with a toast of sparkling apple cider. In my heart I was outside banging pots and pans with my Grandfather which was his New Years tradition. At some point, my family acquired another tradition.. washing your face with silver at midnight. Basically, we would throw a bunch of silver dollars in a sink full of water and them rub them over your face. I think it was supposed to bring you money in the coming year but it never seemed to work as well as we hoped.

I hadn't thought of any New Years resolutions but over the last day or so, I've come up with a few. I won't list them but they generally involve living a more healthy life. I really feel like I could be more healthy in a lot of ways.

The New Year has also led me to undertake an epic project-- digitizing all my CDs-- at least a couple hundred of them. I'm importing them all onto iTunes so I can upload them onto the iPod. Most of them are from the late 80's and early 90's, before I went to film school and couldn't afford to buy CDs any more. There is some really good stuff and quite a few that leave me scratching my head. I have several releases by groups such as Band of Susans, Poi Dog Pondering, The Grapes of Wrath, and others. Who are these people?

I had several hundred LPs too but they were all back in Michigan and I finally agreed to let my sister sell them at a garage sale. Had to say goodbye to some really good music.

Anyway, I hope you all had a great holiday season. It's back to the grind Tuesday. I have jury duty this week by the way. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Incredibly Hot Young Asian Babes of the World... Beware!

2005-12-30T19:14:00.000-08:00

Bought an iPod this afternoon! Decided to go with the 30 GB model with video playback and it's pretty bad ass. I toyed with the idea of getting the 60GB version but it is $100 more and I realized I'm going to be blowing a lot of money on accessories as it is (it was sold out at Best Buy anyway). Still, 30GB will hold something like 7500 songs or 75 hours of video. I think that should keep me entertained. My dream of listening to Phil Hendrie at the gym will finally come true. I guess my Aiwa portable AM/FM cassette player can finally be laid to rest.

King Kong

2005-12-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

Saw King Kong this afternoon. Thought it was good but wasn't as blown away as I had hoped to be. Kong himself is an amazing creation-- a fully developed character. Unfortunately, more developed than any of the human characters in the movie. Of course, he didn't have to deal with trying to deliver any of the lame dialogue his flesh and blood co-stars were forced to utter. Also, I know I'm not the first to notice, but the movie is more than 3 freakin' hours long! Why? Is it supposed to make shelling out 11 bucks at the box office more palatable? I spent most of yesterday afternoon watching some of the greatest films of all time on Turner Classic Movies-- Sunset Boulevard, It Happened One Night, Casablanca, and the original King Kong-- none of them longer than 110 minutes.

Also, I had originally thought Jack Black as Carl Denham would be genius but he turned in basically a one note performance... as did Adrien Brody... and Naomi Watts... and everyone else in the movie besides Kong. Oh well, overall it really is a pretty good movie and the special effects are amazing, but I really wanted to be blown away by it. Perhaps I was expecting too much.

Still Alive Part II

2005-12-20T11:21:00.000-08:00

Got sick again Saturday afternoon. Ugh! This is the 3rd time in the last few months that I've had a serious cold which is very unusual for me. I wonder if it's because this has been my first full year working graveyard. Through my endless surfing of the net, I've discovered that there is a condition called shift-work sleep disorder. Here are the symptoms:

excessive fatigue
an increased incidence of illness
diabetes
reflux disease
high blood pressure
insomnia (can't fall asleep, stay asleep or get back to sleep)
hypersomnia (no matter how much sleep you get, it isn't
enough
poor performance
medical / psychiatric illness
drug abuse
stress from the negative social impact
increased incidence of breast cancer

People are meant to be sleeping at night, not working.

So, I'm here in my apartment with an electric heating pad strapped to my chest, swigging down generic brand Robitussin. On the bright side, there are some internet radio stations playing really good Christmas music and my sister (thank you Anne!) sent me a box of cookies that I'm presently enjoying along with a cup of coffee and a touch of Irish Cream. I wonder if Bailey's can help cure an out of wack Circadian rhythm?

Make Michael Robert Nyman a Star

2005-12-16T14:56:00.000-08:00

Got this email from friend, co-worker, and loyal blog reader, Mike Nyman. My vote is already in!

From: Michael Nyman <mnyman1965@gmail.com>
Date: Dec 15, 2005 8:31 AM
Subject: Make Me A Star!!!

Ok, guys, just got some results from the website and I am at 29 votes so far...I need more because according to the website, the average so far is 27 votes. I don't want to leave this to chance I want to far exceed everybody so there's no question about me moving on to the next round....Thanks to those who have voted for me so far. I sent the original e-mail to about 100 people, so I'm hoping a number of you haven't checked your e-mails or voted yet!!

Now, what I wish to do, is have everybody forward this to your friends and have them vote for me as well. And also, for those of you that have blogsites or websites, if you could put this on there somewhere. To progress to the second round I must be in the top 30% of "stars" having the highest vote count. There will be five men and five women as winners after the show is done. And those winners will be starring in Carrington International Studios slate of movies. Again my audition number is:

1820

and the weblink to vote at is:

http://www.cityofthestars.com/votingpage.asp

For those of you that are forwarding this to their friends that don't know me, they can see some of my work at my website:

www.michaelrobertnyman.com

Thanks for all your help guys, I want to win this! You guys get me to the show, and I'll do all the rest!!!!!

MIchael

Purple Power Part 2

2005-12-16T13:30:00.000-08:00

Stopped at Savon Drugs on the way to work Wednesday night looking for purple ink. Found a package of assorted colored Sharpies that included a marker with a very nice shade of purple. So, basically, I ended up paying like 8 bucks for 1 purple Sharpie. Inked up my right index finger in the casino parking lot and headed into work.

When people finally noticed that I had a purple finger, no one could figure out why. My supervisor asked if I had stuck my finger in a toilet. When I explained that I was showing my solidarity with the people of Iraq who in the midst of important parliamentary elections, the reaction was mixed. One Persian gentleman laughed because he doubted Iraqi people knew how to read and the only way they would be able to vote would be if there were pictures next to the candidates names. A coworker explained to me that he was basically an isolationist and we shouldn't be sticking our nose into the business of other nations. He further elaborated that out nation was no better than Nazi Germany but he felt powerless to do anything about it. Mostly, the reaction was one of bemusement. Sort of like, "Oh, that Gil. What a character."

Coincidentally (or maybe not), that evening also witnessed some of the greatest "shaking" of my Pai Gow Poker career. What am I talking about? Well... That subject is a lengthy one and deserves its own post. Just know that I greatly enjoyed being able to blame my purple finger each time I shook the dice and the bank hand opened a "monster".

I'm glad to see that the Iraqi election went well with very few insurgent attacks and 70% turnout. It's going to be tough but it looks like the citizens of Iraq are willing to give democracy a try. As Ralph Peters wrote in his excellent column in the New York Post this morning-- "May God, by any name, assist their struggle. "

I think it s interesting that the New York Times found a way to move attention away from the Iraqi elections by finally publishing a story they sat on for a year concerning President Bush authorizing the NSA to eavesdrop on some international phone calls coming into the United States. If any of you have seen or heard some of the sensational coverage of this story, I suggest you check out Michelle Malkin's take on the matter before deciding whether or not this represents some dire threat to our civil liberties.

Purple Power

2005-12-14T15:07:00.000-08:00

I've come to realize that many of my posts include some sort of confession about myself. "I'm a talk radio junkie... I'm a Republican... I'm old." Here's another one. "I'm a big sap." Meaning, I am occasionally guilty of being... oh... let's say a bit excessively sentimental. I'm the kind of person who begins to weep during the opening credits of It's a Wonderful Life because I am anticipating all the heartbreaking and heartwarming things that are going to happen during the rest of the movie.

What sorts of things most regularly bring out my sappy side? My family. My friends. My faith. My country. I may not be the richest guy on the block but I have been blessed beyond any reasonable measure in these areas and am easily overwhelmed by the realization of my good fortune.

Why do I bring this up? Because tomorrow, December 15 will probably be a day that brings out my sappy side. I'll read news reports about election day in Iraq, watch television footage of jubilant Iraqis exercising their new constitutional right to vote, and I'll swell with pride in the knowledge that when we really put our minds to it, America can do great things.

Yes, I believe we are doing a great thing in Iraq. We brought down one of the most notorious tyrants in history and are now fighting terrorists who cut off the heads of live journalists and regularly bomb hotels, hospitals, and mosques. We're doing what we should be doing-- we're fighting some seriously bad dudes who publicly say over and over again that they intend to destroy our civilization.

I know many of my countrymen consider the Iraq war to be colossal blunder on the part of President Bush and his administration. Obviously, some mistakes have been made but I can't help but recall this exchange between Major Strasser and Captain Renault in Casablanca (another great movie that ranks very high on the sappy scale).

Strasser: You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American.

Renault: But we mustn't underestimate American blundering. I was with them when they 'blundered' into Berlin in 1918.

And on December 15, 2005 our blundering will send millions of Arabs and Kurds to the polls to freely vote for whomever they want to represent them in parliament for the next 4 years. They'll wear their best clothes, take along their families and, after marking their ballot, proudly display their purple ink stained index finger (a practice to prevent double voting).

Former Secretary of Education (and current talk radio host) Bill Bennett is this week promoting what I think is a wonderful idea. He proposes that to show solidarity with freedom loving Iraqis, we ink our own index fingers purple.

I guess there will be some people who'll sneer at this gesture the way they sneered at all the people who drove around flying American flags on their cars in the days and weeks after 9-11. They just don't like the fact that America is, deep down, kind of a sappy country. They don't understand anything not thoroughly laced with irony and cynicism.

Even if you decide not to do the purple finger thing, please consider how you can show your support for our efforts in the Middle East. Democracy, even under the best circumstances, can be a pretty messy process. We've been blundering at it ourselves for more than 2 centuries now and still manage to muck it up an awful lot. The Iraqis will make their own mis-steps and this experiment may still ultimately fail but let's make sure we do everything we can to ensure it doesn't.

Yes, I'm still alive.

2005-12-11T16:26:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. I'm out of bed once again and relatively healthy. Had a mild case of the flu that lingered up till Saturday afternoon. I've just been trying to get as much rest as possible. Didn't have the energy to eat much, let alone blog. Let's see if I can get the juices flowing again. Here goes...

A very deep theological question occured to me recently that I haven't been able to find any satisfactory answer to yet. I've checked out EWTN, Catholic Answers, and some other apologetics sites and... nothing. Not one article. Not a single link.

Who was the first guy to wear sweat pants to church and who let him get away with it?

Okay, maybe it's not that deep a question but it seems to be a relevant query. If you're a Seinfeld fan, you know that the wearing of sweat pants in public has implications beyond being a tacky fashion statement. It signifies that you've basically given up. You've sized up your state of affairs and decided that putting even the minimal amount of effort into how you look to others just isn't worth it. I have some sympathy for that point of view if you've just rolled out of bed and are heading out to the donut shop for a coffee and glazed twist, but Sunday worship?

Now, I must admit that I could spend a little more time making myself more presentable but a decent pair of jeans and a nice sweater is still a long cry from the sweat pants, Lakers jerseys, or Megadeth teeshirts you see on both men and boys on any given Sunday. Yes, there are women who are also guilty of wearing inapropriate attire, but that's one of the biggest tragedies of the whole feminist movement, it's made the world safe for females to mimic the bad habits of the opposite sex.

It is striking to look at photos or news reel footage of a depression era baseball game and see all the men in suits and ties. Compare that to the attire worn at similar or more serious events today. And compare it to the vision of numerous novelists and screenwriters over the years. They always foresee a future that includes at least two elements-- flying cars and a super groovy, ultra modern wardrobe. I guess it's possible the flying car thing may still happen, but if you want to make a plausible movie or realistic book about the shape of things to come, just dress everyone in sweat pants.

My Wonderful Weekend

2005-12-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't know, not only do I work the graveyard shift (10pm-6am), my days off are Mondays and Tuesdays. So, basically, I'm out of sync with most of the world. There just aren't a lot of parties and other social type activities that happen on those nights,

This week, I decided to spend my 2 days away from the casino suffering from the flu. Well, I didn't exactly decide this but I've been lying in bed with the chills, sweating my ass off for about 20 hours now. Fun stuff.

This makes 4 times in the last year I've been sick. I never used to get sick until I took this job. Now, I'm around sick people all the time. This is why we're all going to die from the stupid bird flu. Some people just can't give up one night of gambling. They could be on death's door but they'll still find a way to stumble up to a blackjack table. I need to work in one of those plastic bubble things. I wonder how much they cost.

That New Cathedral Smell

2005-12-04T19:03:00.000-08:00

Told you last week one of my resolutions for Advent was that I was going to attend daily mass. So, I decided to check out the 7am service at the new Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral located at the corner of Temple and Grand in downtown L.A, right off the Hollywood Freeway.

Even though it's been open since 2002, I hadn't paid the Cathedral a visit yet. Don't know why. I live just a few minutes away. Part of the reason is that any time you say "Downtown L.A." to me, I immediately start to worry about parking. This turned out not to be a problem at all. The Cathedral has it's own parking structure and it's free if you're there for either the morning or noon masses.

Also, it seemed like kind of a big deal. "The Cathedral." That's a place to go only for special events. Just head over to the local parish for daily mass. I know this is a silly way to think but I often have silly thoughts.

When the Cathedral first opened, I remember hearing and reading about a lot of people complaining about both it's design and cost. When you hear the word, Cathedral, you think of a building that looks like Notre Dame in Paris or St. Patrick's in New York City. Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral definitely is a contemporary structure and I'll leave people more knowledgeable than myself to evaluate its architectual merit, but once I was there, I was immediately taken in by it. I felt comfortable and at home, like waking up from a peaceful sleep still wrapped in my blankets.

I made it down to the Cathedral 5 days this past week and look forward to returning there tomorrow morning. I was impressed with each of the priests who said mass. Their brief homilies were all very well spoken, to the point, and inspirational. The exposition of the Blessed Sacrament after mass last Friday was especially moving.

If you live in Los Angeles and haven't already visited the Cathedral, I suggest you check it out when you get the chance. If you don't live in L.A., take a trip down to your local Cathedral. These buildings are not places just for "special events", they are meant to be used for daily spiritual enrichment.

I am so old... Part II

2005-12-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

Stopped by my friend Bobby's place yesterday afternoon to take part in an impromtu "Moritafest." The idea was basically to vege out and watch the entire Karate Kid Boxed Set as a way to honor the memory of the late, great Noriyuki "Pat" Morita who passed on to the great Dojo in the sky last week.

When discussing this plan with some of my younger co-workers, they could easily recall that Mr. Morita starred as Mr. Miyagi in The KK and played Arnold on Happy Days, but when I pointed out that he was also in a sitcom called Barney Miller, they all looked at me as if was speaking Ancient Greek. I said, "Come on, you all remember Barney Miller, don't you? Hal Linden, Ron Glass, Max Gail, Abe Vigoda as Fish?"

They didn't. If they were even born when Barney Miller was on the air, they are still too young to remember a show that didn't later find eternal life on the TV Land Network. It didn't have "The Fonz" either.

So, I chalked it up as just another on of those, "I am so old" moments but, later on, when I was preparing to write this blog, I discovered it was also one of those "early onset of Alzheimer's moments." Pat Morita was not in Barney Miller. I was thinking of another Asian American actor named Jack Soo (born Goro Susuki).
As you can see. They look nothing alike but part of my brain remembered that there was an Asian guy in Barney Miller and we were talking about Pat Morita, an Asian guy, so they must be one and the same person. It's like how my grandmother eventually morphed every male member of her family into "Doug", her eldest son.

I did find out that both Pat and Jack were Japanese and started their careers as stand-up comics. Since you know my affection for all things non-PC, I just love that Mr. Morita once billed himself as "The Hip Nip." Freakin' brilliant.

By the way, we only made it through the first Karate Kid and a few minutes of the 2nd one. I hope Mr. Miyagi understands.

Rest in peace, Goro and Noriyuki (and Grandma).

I think I'm going to hurl.

2005-12-01T20:56:00.000-08:00

Had a couple ideas for the blog today but stopped at Zankou Chicken on the way home from the gym and got a beef shawerma plate to go. It was delicious, as always, but it was too much food to eat so soon after a pretty good workout. Also, the Good Lord gave me teeth, maybe I should consider using them and attempt chewing once or twice before swallowing. I'm not a freakin' python.

Spent the last 30 minutes lying in bed, wondering if I should just get it over with and induce vomiting. I think I'm okay now.

Laura Ingrawho?

2005-11-30T19:29:00.000-08:00

Hello. My name is Gil and I'm a talk radio junkie. An addict. If I don't get my daily fix, I just don't feel right. If you take a look at my ever growing links section, you'll see where I go to satisfy my jones. My daily listening schedule is as follows.

3-6am Bill Bennett
6-9am Laura Ingraham
9am-noon Dennis Prager
Noon-3pm Michael Medved
3-6pm Hugh Hewitt
7-10pm Phil Hendrie
10pm-2am Coast to Coast AM with George Noory
(All times are Pacific)

Now, this doesn't mean ALL I do is listen to talk radio. I go to work. to church, to the gym (where I can't tune in any AM stations). I watch Lost (which I'll have to remind myself to blog about sometime), I have a bit of a social life, and I even sleep. But, if I'm driving around or in my apartment, I'm usually tuned into talk radio instead of listening to music or watching TV.

Also, I am a discriminating addict, just like the alcoholic who prefers bourbon to scotch or the guy who'd rather download some porn featuring girl-girl action as opposed to any of that she-male stuff. There are several competing talk stations in Los Angeles and I've had to make choices as to whom I'm going to listen to. I prefer Dennis Prager to Rush Limbaugh, Michael Medved to Sean Hannity, and Hugh Hewitt to Larry Elder even though all these gentleman are conservatives and I more or less agree with them on the majority of issues. I just seem to connect more with Dennis, Michael, and Hugh's take on a topic as opposed to their like-minded competitors. The most important thing is that the host has a well thought out point of view that he or she can speak in support of with intelligence, passion, and wit. Just being outspoken or shocking isn't enough. There needs to be some "there" there.

Every now and then, if I'm in the mood for a different perspective, I'll check out what's going on over at Air America or if I really want a laugh, Pacifica. Gotta' love those wacky lefties.

Once the sun goes down, I take a break from politics and enjoy the most brilliant freakin' man in the history of radio, Phil Hendrie. Find out if there's a local A-PHIL-LIAT near you and start listening tonight! If there isn't, subscribe to his website. The best 7 bucks a month I've ever spent. I won't explain explain what his show is about. It's more fun to find out on your own.

Finally, there's George Noory, who took over Coast to Coast AM show a few years ago from the legendary Art Bell. Experts on UFO's, crypto-zoology, conspiracy theories and every sort of weird science imaginable are interviewed in depth on a nightly basis. Personally, I love the ghost hunters.

Another great thing about talk radio? You can listen and blog your brains out at the same time.

A spill waiting to happen.

2005-11-29T23:23:00.000-08:00

When I was living in Miami, I had a roommate named Steve who, while being a lovable guy, was also what I often referred to as a "spill waiting to happen." Our entire apartment was a testament to this honorary title. Almost every piece of furniture was stained and our carpet was disgusting beyond description. I particularly loved it whenever he would periodically kick over his water pipe, spilling bong water (which he never changed) everywhere. Another charming habit of his was making a big, yummy dish of Kraft Mac n' Cheese, dumping some barbecue sauce in it, eating about half of it, setting the un-eaten half in the sink, and letting it sit there for a few weeks. In three years, he never quite figured out that our sink DID NOT HAVE A GARBAGE DISPOSAL!

But I digress. The reason I bring him up is that lately, sitting next to me is like swimming through Prince William Sound next to the Exxon Valdez. For example, I finished my workout last night at about 2:45am which meant the Taco Bell drive thru was already closed and I was going to be cutting it close if I tried to rush over to Fat Burger. This, of course, left me with only one possible plan of action-- Tommy Burger. So, I hit the drive thru at Hollywood and Bronson, ordered my usual-- a double chili cheese burger with chili cheese fries and a diet coke-- and headed home.

I'd only made it a few blocks when I was confronted by one of those, "Oh, the traffic light just turned yellow... No problem, I can make it through before it turns red... No, wait, I can't... Oh, it doesn't matter, no one's going to care at this time of night anyway, I'll just speed up... No, I better not, I just had an accident a couple of months ago and another fender bender or moving violation will kill my insurance premium... I better slam on the brakes," moments.

A few words of advice. Try to avoid slamming on the brakes if you happen to be holding a 32oz cup of diet coke with ice between your legs. The next thing you know, it feels like I'm wading along the Lake Superior shoreline in mid-February. Fortunately, my gym bag was nearby so I was quickly grab a towel and throw it on the floor.

I wasn't so lucky last month ago when I decided to go grab a Starbucks venti drip coffee after getting off from work. As I was getting back in my car, I grasped my drink in such a way that the plastic lid popped off and the top of the paper cup collapsed in my hand. At this point, I had a choice-- either drop the cup and let $1.80 worth of gourmet coffee soak into the floor of the Focus or let scalding hot liquid do a number on my hand.

I let it drop.

Didn't have a towel handy this time so I had to rush home before I could do any clean up work. The next day, I found out that, after baking under the sun all morning and early afternoon, a small amount of half and half can start smelling surprisingly funky. Doesl the same thing happen to non-dairy creamer?

A similar incident occurred the last time I visited the family in Michigan. Again, the plastic lid popped off but this time the hot coffee exploded straight up in the air like a geyser in Yellowstone. A good portion of it shot straight into the dashboard, shorting out the car's air conditioning. My dad ended up taking it in for detailing a few days later. I think there's something wrong with those Starbucks lids.

I think the real problem is that we want to be able to drink these huge beverages while we drive, so they've had to design gigantic cups with very small bases so they will fit in the cup holders. The center of gravity is too high.

Here's a suggestion for all my friends back in the Motor City working for the auto makers. Larger cup holders. I mean really large. Large enough to hold one of these...

I think this could help boost car sales and solve my spillage issues.

God Blogging

2005-11-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Okay! I know! I may be able to spin a clever yarn about groceries or iPods but my God Blogging sucks. Just re-read yesterday's post and didn't like it at all. My faith is part of me and I want it to be part of the blog but I don't want to come off as if I'm lecturing my catechism class. The Gospel reflection deal seems like a mistake. Too contrived. I should really make it more personal, like the rest of the blog.

Please be patient. I'll post something funny tomorrow. I promise!

1st Sunday in Advent

2005-11-27T18:01:00.000-08:00

Mark 13: 33-37

33 Take heed, watch; for you do not know when the time will come.
34 It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch.
35 Watch therefore -- for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or in the morning --
36 lest he come suddenly and find you asleep.
37 And what I say to you I say to all: Watch."

This is the 1st Sunday of the liturgical season of Advent. It is NOT Christmas. It is a time when we are meant to spiritually prepare for Christmas. If you were to attend a Catholic Mass between now and December 25, you would not hear any Christmas hymns or music. It is a period of devout and joyful expectation.

Today's Gospel also reminds us that Christians not only annually celebrate Christ's birth 2000 years ago, we also look forward to his 2nd coming at the end of time which could happen at any moment. How many of us are really prepared to meet him right now? How many of us spend the 4 weeks of Advent making ourselves more prepared?

Here's what I plan to do during Advent to ready myself to welcome Christ into the world. I'm going to go to confession, I'm going to attend weekday Mass when I can, and I'm going to make an effort to pray more often and pratice patience and tolerance.

Even if you're not a Christian, I hope you can find a way to make this season more spiritually fulfilling.

God Bless

I really need an iPod.

2005-11-26T19:55:00.000-08:00

Went to the gym this afternoon to get some cardio work in on the elliptical machine. Shortly after starting my workout, an incredibly hot young Asian babe (I'll let you find your own link for this one) climbed onto the machine directly next to mine. "Hmmmmmmm," I think to myself, "There's an incredibly hot young Asian babe next to me. Perhaps I should say something. A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone, right?"

I notice that strapped to her cute little bicep is a cute little black iPod nano that perfectly matches her cute little black workout outfit. I wonder if she also has a cute little white nano to go with a different cute little outfit. I further wonder if she's noticed the dinosaur in front of me that is my Aiwa portable AM/FM cassette player.

I then imagine that any conversation with this lovely young lady would go something like this...

Frnknsalsa
Hi. My name is Gil. I couldn't help but notice you are an incredibly hot young Asian babe.

Incredibly Hot Young Asian Babe
Yes I am. What is that thing in front of you?

Frnknsalsa
It's an Aiwa portable AM/FM cassette player.

Incredibly Hot Young Asian Babe
What's a cassette?

Frnknsalsa
It's something you record music onto so you can listen to it whenever you want.

Incredibly Hot Young Asian Babe
I don't get it. Where's your iPod?

Frnknsalsa
Uh... A gust of wind blew it out of my SLR McLaren when I was going about 180 miles per hour driving PCH up to Monterey last week.

Incredibly Hot Young Asian Babe
Is that meat loaf I smell?

Blissfully unaware of my musings, she went on reading Cosmo, working up a cute little sweat.

I really need an iPod.

Express Aisle Blues

2005-11-25T18:35:00.000-08:00

Stopped at Von's on the way back from the gym this evening. Picked up a meat loaf from the deli section, some lettuce and 2 liters of Diet Dr. Pepper. For those of you who are math challenged, 1 meat loaf+1 bag of salad+1 bottle of soda = 3 items. Are you with me so far?

With only 3 items in my shopping basket and no intention of buying anything else, I proceed to the Express Aisle, easily identified as such by a large sign overhead that says "Express Aisle" with an explanation of the parameters allowing you to make use of that aisle-- possessing 15 items or less. This information was also conveyed on a light just above the register.

Upon approaching, I notice a shopping cart, with what looks to be more that 15 items parked right in front of the express aisle with no one attending it. I quickly begin counting. 1, 2, 3, 4... Jeez, there are like 16 juice boxes alone. Should I count those as 16 or 1? No matter, whoever's buying this stuff is not around, I'll just dart in front of the cart, pay for my 3 lousy items and be off.

"Excuse me. I'm here," announces the pleasant enough looking woman who apparently either can't read or count or both. I look at her and then glance down at my basket, trying to get her to see I only have 3 lousy items, maybe she could let me cut in front of her, so I can pay for them and I'll be quickly off. She doesn't take the hint and pushes her cart past me.

I look around. There are other aisles I can move too but none them are of the express variety and I'd rather just stand here and give the womans dirty looks to see if I can get her to apologize for bringing 30 items into a 15 items or less line. I also consider whether or not to direct some ire at the cashier who should be able to do some quick math himself and make the woman aware of the mistake she's made.

WAIT A SECOND! What's wrong with me? Why is this making me so upset? Is this what Jesus would do? I should just relax and wait patiently for the woman to purchase her 40 items or less. It'll all be over soon.

"Oh, could I get paper inside plastic?" asks the woman. "Paper inside plastic? No problem," says the cashier. My blood pressure rises a notch or two as I silently try to calculate the amount of time being added to the completion of the transaction by having to double bag 50 items.

Next, my question as to how to count the juice boxes is answered as the cashier takes them out of the basket, one by one, and runs them over the bar code reader. I have more non-Jesus like thoughts.

Okay, it's almost over. All 70 items are scanned and double bagged and the woman is running a credit card through the little credit card machine... she runs it through again... and again. A vein begins to visibly throb over my left temple. "How does this work?" she asks the cashier. Has this woman never been to a grocery store before?

The cashier helps her with the credit card but after doing some quick ciphering in her check book, she realizes that she doesn't want the $50 cash back she had just requested. "No problem", says the cashier, smiling as he feverishly presses buttons on the register.

I begin to think of the scene in You've Got Mail where Tom Hanks finds Meg Ryan in a similar situation at their local market. Manhattenites apparently are not in the habit of asking themselves, what would Jesus do? They're not happy with Meg and letting her know it. Tom gets to exhibit some princely behavior and charms the cashier into helping Meg out of the embarrassing circumstance she's found herself in. Too bad I'm not Tom Hanks.

Okay, here's my big line for the night...

"I'm glad I got in the Express Aisle!"

...This is, of course, a sarcastic comment but I say it trying not to sound overly sarcastic. The woman doesn't even glance in my direction. The cashier shoots me a smile as if sharing in the joke but I just know he's silently hoping I don't start a scene.

Don't worry buddy. I've had my say.

Yes, indeed. I am quite lame.

Don't eat too much... Oh, go ahead. Eat too much.

2005-11-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

This has always been my favorite national holiday. Oh, sure, Christmas has more religious significance and there's better weather on the 4th of July, but I think the celebration of Thanksgiving has managed to remain closest to it's original intent. For a great many people, the true meaning of Christmas is too easily clouded by the annual frenzy of consumerism that proceeds it. We look forward to Independence Day with all the barbecues and fireworks, but it seems less and less attention is paid every year to what we are supposedly celebrating, the birth of our nation.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, continues to be a holiday which the great majority of Americans celebrate in more or less the same way. We sit down with friends and family and enjoy a feast together. A relatively simple event but one that gains in profundity every year because, like the habit of "giving thanks," sitting down for dinner is something we just don't do all that often any more in our culture.

Yes, I know, there are also parades (sponsored by department stores, intended to prime the pump, so to speak) and football games but these things have become part the tradition and don't seem to detract too much from the overall celebration. No matter what's on television, the smell of roasted turkey serves as a constant reminder of why we're really gathered together.

I am concerned, however, that for many people Thanksgiving is the day on which final battle plans are drawns for what will begin early the next morning-- frenzied consumerism at its absolute apex. Here's some advice. Youve got 4 weeks for that stuff people! Sleep in, gorge yourself on leftovers, take a nap and then eat more leftovers!

Finally, I want to take the opportunity to thank the Good Lord for the many blessings he's bestowed upon me, my family, my friends, my Church, and my country.

Happy Thanksgiving

Marx, Kaczynski, and now Frnknsalsa

2005-11-22T23:16:00.000-08:00

What do these three guys have in common? They all at some point sat down and wrote something called a "manifesto". Karl published his in 1848 and the man who would become known as the Unabomber finally got a 35,000 word paper he wrote called Industrial Society and Its Future printed in the esteemed pages of the New York Times and Washington Post on September 19, 1995. Today, through the miracle of the Blogosphere, your friendly neighborhood Film School Refugee, Catechist, Card Player, Talk Radio Junkie, and Raconteur can waste an entire afternoon writing out his long-winded reflections on American Politics in the belief there is someone out there who might actually be interested his thoughts on the matter.

How did this happen? Just a couple of weeks ago, I would have been blissfully engrossed right now in a game of CIV IV, trying to convince Napoleon to trade me some of his extra furs and deciding whether or not it is sometimes indeed necessary to go to war for oil. Now, I can spend my entire day off feverishly typing away in my tiny apartment, envisioning myself as the 2nd coming of Bill Buckley.

Why did I do this? If there's anything I've learned after the numerous political debates I've engaged in with people over the years, it's that you could be the 2nd coming of every brilliant person who ever lived all rolled into one, able to present your arguments in the most cogent way imaginable, armed with every relevant, well-researched bit of information backing up your thesis readily available at your fingertips, and you still couldn't get someone to change their mind about a deeply held political belief. You're about as likely to get the Pope to proclaim that Jesus Christ is not really the Son of God as you are to convince Teddy Kennedy that lower taxes are generally preferable to higher taxes. Is the real truth about tax policy also one of those things we won't know the answer to until the afterlife?

Still, I've reflected on these matters an awful lot and it's all part of what makes me tick. So, I finished the manifesto (I call it this tongue in cheek by the way. By no means do I think it's some earthshaking document that'll change the course of Western Civilization.) It's not quite 35,000 words but is still quite lengthy and talks a lot about Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and my political awakening at the age of 6. It's floating around somewhere out there in cyberspace, ready to be published. Is anyone interested?

Gil's Manifesto

2005-11-22T14:08:00.000-08:00

Manifesto: A public declaration of principles, policies, or intentions, especially of a political nature.

I'm a conservative Republican. I guess that makes me one of the "Stupid White Men" at whom Michael Moore is always so pissed. I've suffered from this affliction for as long as I can remember even though my mom explained to me at a young age that Republicans were the party of the rich and Democrats were the party of the ordinary guy. Still, I remember rooting for Richard Nixon to beat George McGovern in 1972 and found it interesting that guy who supposedly represented the party of the "rich" won 49 states. Was Massachusetts the only place in America inhabited by ordinary people?

Why, at the age of 6, did I think it was important that Tricky Dick be re-elected? Well, I was aware that we were fighting a war in Vietnam against people called communists. I was further aware that Communists were bad guys. McGovern wanted us to leave Vietnam unilaterally, therefore he didn't want to fight the bad guys. So, in spite of my mom's views on the subject, my own opinion of the two parties was formed. The Republicans were the party that knew we had to fight the bad guys and their political opponents were the party that didn't. In the 30+ years that have since passed, the Democratic Party has done little to change my mind.

Mr. Moore and others would ridicule this world view as being that of a 6 year old and overly simplistic for any adult. These things aren't so "black and white" they would tell me. They would point out that the Vietnamese Communists could be viewed as patriots who were fighting foreign occupiers guilty of all sorts of war crimes. So, in this case, Americans may have been the bad guys.

Here's my response. America is not a perfect country. I don't know of any conservative who would claim it to be. We, as a nation, have made many mistakes and have committed some grave sins against American Indians, Blacks, Vietnamese civilians, and others. But knowledge of events such as the Trail of Tears, Jim Crow, or My Lai doesn't prevent me from observing that while the American experience has been tragic for some, this is a country that has provided more people with more freedom and more opportunity than any other civilization in history. It won't stop me from saying without reservation that we were right to fight against the brand of communism promulgated by the likes of Stalin, Mao, Ho, Fidel, and Che.

The presidencies of Jimmy Carter (76-80) and Ronald Reagan (80-88) crystallized for me the two parties overall approach to solving problems. Carter slashed the defense budget and when confronted by the energy crisis and a declining economy he pessimistically told the country in his infamous "malaise" speech that we had basically lost our way and that our problems stemmed from a "crisis of spirit" of the American people. He did nothing, however, to lift our spirits up. Instead, he wanted us to join him in adapting to a new, "age of limits", as if our best days were behind us and we shouldn't expect so much in the future. Reagan, on the other hand, spoke of the United States as the "shining city on a hill... big-hearted, idealistic, daring, decent, and fair," whose citizens had the "right to dream heroic dreams." I took every opportunity I could to listen to Reagan speak and every single time, I ended up saying to myself, "this man's America is my America." My mom and I watched his acceptance speech together at the close of the 1980 Republican National Convention (held at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit by the way) and we were both moved to tears. I'm not sure she voted for him but I suspect she may have been one of the millions of "Reagan Democrats" who helped sweep him into the office that November and then again 4 years later.

Reagan's solution to the country's economic problems? Get government out of the way and let America's vast wealth of creativity and initiative go to work. He pushed through massive tax cuts, which somehow had become controversial public policy since the Revolutionary War. Why would anyone argue against cutting taxes? Because to a liberal Democrat, the "ordinary guy" in this country has no chance to get ahead unless money is forcibly taken from someone else and redistributed it to him through the myriad of well meaning government programs. No matter that the person whose money is being confiscated is likely to be a "rich" potential employer who can't afford to expand his business and give the "ordinary guy" a job because his taxes are too high.

Reagan did something else that had some point become taboo, he called evil evil. He publicly labeled the Soviet Union as the "Evil Empire" and declared that instead of detente, "the reality is that we must find peace through strength." By the end of 1983, he had deployed intermediate-range nuclear missiles in Western Europe in response to the U.S.S.R.'s SS 20's. This was in direct opposition to the "nuclear freeze" movement as championed by the likes of Senator Ted Kennedy who, on the same day of Reagan's "Evil Empire" speech said, "I wish that we had an administration that was more concerned with preventing nuclear war and less concerned in preparing for nuclear war." The next day, columnist Anthony Lewis of the New York Times described Reagan's speech as "primitive" and "dangerous." At 1984's Democratic National Convention, Speaker of the House, and Democratic icon, Thomas "Tip" O'Neill, D-Mass., said, "The evil is in the White House at the present time. And that evil is a man who has no care and no concern for the working class of America and the future generations of America."

Sound familiar?

Was Reagan right? Unemployment went down. Inflation went down. Economic growth went up. And, in December of 1991, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics officially came to an end. I, and many others, believe that the "Evil Empire" speech marked the beginning of the end of said entity.

These and other observations have led me to conclude that if America is as great as I believe it to be, it is great because it was built according to a set of "conservative" ideals. Limited government. The Free Market system. The right to private property. A system of law that emphasizes individual liberty and responsibility. And a national moral code based on traditional Judeo-Christian values.

Now, please don't ask me to defend everything anyone calling themselves a Republican or conservative has said or done. My own witty comment on the two political parties in this country has long been, "There are two parties in this country, one that pisses me off and one that just disappoints me." Still, I'm more that happy to match up the leading conservative thinkers in this country against their liberal counterparts in a debate on any subject, any day of the week.

There are many people who I am very close to and care very much about who vehemently disagree with much of what I have just written. I don't doubt the sincerity of their convictions and I don't think they question mine. I agree with the notion that people of good will can have honest disagreements about almost everything. Unfortunately, good will is something that is generally found lacking in today's political climate. I promise to never let it be so in this forum.

I am so old...

2005-11-21T15:28:00.000-08:00

Celebrated my 40th birthday yesterday with an awesome dinner at Rambutan Thai and then met some friends at the Bigfoot Lodge. I had a great time and I can't thank everyone enough for coming out on a Sunday night to have a few laughs and buy me many, many, many drinks.

I took along my now obsolete (5 years old) Olympus digital camera and was hoping to post some pictures today but when I uploaded them to the Dell a few minutes ago I had a film school flashback... just about everything was out of focus. Or maybe it's just me that's out of focus. I consumed an awful lot of alchohol last night in a very short period of time and am still paying for it this afternoon.

Somehow, Jameson's became the drink of choice last night but only after I confirmed with my friend John that it is the "Catholic" Irish Whisky, distilled in County Cork as opposed to Bushmills which is made in the North and therefore favored by Protestants. This seemed very important at the time but when I did some research today, I was disturbed to not only find that the same company, Irish Distillers, owns both the Bushmills and Midleton (where Jameson is produced) distilleries but that Irish Distillers is a subsidiary of Pernod-Ricard, of FRANCE!

In keeping with the drunken Irishmen theme, I was introduced last night to something called an Irish Car Bomb which I'd never heard of but has apparently become one of the most popular cocktails in the world. Yummy, but I must admit to being a little squemish about ordering a drink named after a terrorist device used to kill and maim an awful lot of innocent people during The Troubles. Am I being too sensitive?

Oh, here's a joyous bit of news. The McRib is back (but only for a limited time, as always). Had one for lunch and it was just as delicious as ever. What a great way to nurse a hangover!

Feast of Christ the King

2005-11-20T14:11:00.000-08:00

Matthew 25: 31-46

31 "When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne.
32 Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,
33 and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left.
34 Then the King will say to those at his right hand, `Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;
35 for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,
36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.'
37 Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink?
38 And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee?
39 And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?'
40 And the King will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'
41 Then he will say to those at his left hand, `Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;
42 for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
43 I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.'
44 Then they also will answer, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?'
45 Then he will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.'
46 And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

The Gospel of the Lord.

Why am I posting today's Gospel reading? Well, you may have noticed that one of the titles I give myself at the top of my blog is catechist. Since the spring of 1999, I've made a concerted effort to become more serious about my Roman Catholic faith and for the last couple of years I've volunteered at my parish, helping high school students prepare for the sacrament of confirmation.

How do you get 14, 15, and 16 year olds who are being forced by their parents to sit in a classroom on a Saturday afternoon to believe any of this stuff is important? Good question, but I think today's gospel helps bring into focus a couple of basic theological questions that even teenagers can understand as being relevent. First-- is there a life beyond that of this world? Second-- if there is, will our actions in this life affect what happens to us in the next? According to Matthew, Jesus' answers to these questions are "yes" and "yes!" You may not be a believing Christian, but if you acknowledge there may be the slightest possibility that, on some level, Christ is telling the truth-- that "eternity" is real, and that what you do now will make a difference as to how you experience it-- then I don't know how the contemplation of these matters isn't a major part of your life. It's my hope that that my Sunday ruminations may provide a spark that gets you to look more deeply into your own faith tradition (or that of your culture), whatever it may be, and see what answers it has to offer considering the great mysteries of our existence.

God Bless

Blah!!!!

2005-11-19T13:52:00.000-08:00

Oh well. I had a feeling OSU having the wind at their back in the 4th quarter would be crucial. Seemed like it was, but the Buckeyes made some great individual plays as well. Coach Carr better figure out a way to start beating Tressel.

This is always a bad way to start off the weekend. I really need U of M to win as many games as possible on Saturdays to make the inevitable Detroit Lions losses on Sundays more palatable.

To be honest, I use to take these sort of things much harder than I do now. The insane rants and furniture kicking episodes that followed particularly frustrating losses by my favorite sports teams continue to live in infamy in my parent's house. I still rank the night in 1987 when Larry Bird stole the ball as one of the worst moments of my life.

Here's the way I look at it now. When it comes to sports, most of my teams are statistically doing pretty good. For example, the Detroit Tigers have won 2 World Series in my lifetime (1968 and 1984). It's now 2005, so that makes two championships in 37 years, or one every 18.5 years. Since there are 30 major league baseball teams, one championship every 30 years would be a reasonable expectation. So, even though they've been terrible for more than a decade now, statiscally, they're still ahead of the game. The Pistons and Redwings are doing even better-- 3 championships each in my lifetime. When you look at major college sports, Michiganders born since 1965 have nothing to complain about considering there are over 100 Division 1A programs. The University of Michigan has one national title in football to go along with another in basketball. Michigan State Spartan fans have been able to revel in two NCAA basketball championships since 1979. Heck, sounds like the Great Lakes State is a veritable sports fan's paradise, doesn't it?

This of course leaves my beloved Lions who haven't won a championship since 1957, putting them way behind the curve... Just once in my lifetime guys! Please! Just once!

Liquidate Ohio State!

2005-11-18T19:00:00.000-08:00

It's rivalry week in college football and if you hail from the same neighborhood I do, this means just one thing-- Michigan vs Ohio State. There's plenty of info out there on the on the web dissecting just about every aspect of this annual battle between two of collegiate football's great dynasties but I wanted to take a moment to pay tribute to the man who, more than anyone else, made me a lifelong fan of Michigan Football-- the great Bob Ufer, who was the radio voice of the Wolverines from 1945-1981. I know he was a "homer" and I guess some people faulted him for that but... here I'll use a term from an earlier post... he was a "breathtakingly over the top" homer and his unapologetic love for his beloved Meeeechigan was infectious. I hope you take a few moments to read the linked article and listen to the sound clips. His call of the final play of the 1979 match up between Michigan and Indiana still brings a lump to my throat. If his suggestion that Bo "George Patton" Schembechler was, at the moment, looking up to "football Valhalla", thanking fellow Michigan coaching legend Fielding H. Yost doesn't bring a smile to your face, there's something wrong with you. By the way, the coach of IU at the time was ESPN's Lee Corso and Anthony Carter, who made the winning score still ranks as my favorite college football player of all time.

I've tried to find a sound file of a parody of the Ohio State Fight song I remember being played on the radio but couldn't locate it on the net. I did find the lyrics, of which there are several versions. This is the one I remember.

(sung to the tune of Across the Field)

Liquidate Ohio State and humble Woody Hayes.
They raise a lot of cattle in Columbus, send them back to graze.
Knock them off their ivory towers.
Send them crawling into the showers.
Down with Ohio State. It's a know nothing party school.

They say the girls who go to OSU are husband hunting dames.
They dig the jocks who got the killer instinct, not the boys with brains.
In Columbus you're way ahead
with straight A's in physical ed.
Down with Ohio State. It's a know nothing party school.

I love the wonderfully non-PC "husband hunting dames" bit.

Go Blue!!!

Update-- 6:50 am Saturday. Just got off the phone with Gil Sr. He summed up the spirit of the day beautifully. "I hope Michigan kicks their ass. I hate those people!"

Why is this guy blogging?

2005-11-17T20:05:00.000-08:00

Actually, I've done this sort of thing before. A short time after the birth of Frnknsalsa and about the time he could nightly be found prowling an AOL chat room called Hollywood Tonight, I started sending emails to some of my buddies back in Michigan titled the "Gil Update", a sort of periodic chronicle of my experiences in LaLa land. I had no idea that I was actually doing something akin to what would eventually become known as blogging because the term hadn't yet come into popular use. (If you aren't familiar with the whole blogging phenomenon, check this out.)

So, what unique contribution do I have to offer to the blogosphere? I'm not really sure at this point so I'm just going to write down whatever might be on my mind on any particular day, publish it to the web and you can decide whether the few seconds it took to read it was a complete waste of time or not. Hopefully, at some point you'll be motivated enough to post your own comments on my ramblings. If this endeavor does nothing more than initiate a dialogue amongst friends, that would be totally cool with me.

By the way, the "Gil Update" was several computers ago. If any of you happen to have any of them saved somewhere, please forward them to me. I'll publish them on the blog.

What is a Frnknsalsa?

2005-11-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

Frankensalsa was the 2nd screenplay I ever wrote along with my friend Mike. It is about a Cuban American hit man and champion salsa dancer who is killed and then brought back to life by the mad scientist uncle of a rival mob family. It was the follow up to our first script, Miami Bites, an action-horror-comedy that imagines Miami Beach being taken over by Nazi vampires. At the time, I was really into the early films of New Zealander Peter Jackson (the Lord of the Rings and King Kong guy) and Hong Kong-based director John Woo (his American films include Face/Off and Broken Arrow). They both had made some amazing movies I found to be breathtakingly over the top, but in very different ways. When writing Frankensalsa, we sort of tried to cross Jackson's Dead Alive (AKA Brain Dead) with Woo's The Killer and I think we suceeded... to a point. When I figure out more about this blogging thing I'll try to find a way to make some of my scripts available for anyone interested to read on line.

When I signed on to the internet for the first time in 1996 (on AOL) I didn't want some ordinary screen name like Gil1965 or something like that so Frnknsalsa was born (you could only have 10 digit long screen names). I've kept it over the years because... well, ever heard the theory that if you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters and let them type at ramdom for an infinite number of years, they will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare?... there's about the same chance that one of them will also call himself Frnknsalsa. It is a pain trying to spell it out to people though.

I don't why it never occured to me at the time, but there isn't really a big market in Hollywood for Nazi-Vampire or Gangster-Frankenstein-Dance movies. Go figure.